Harris Fellman: the inventor of Tortilla Magic

 I was going over some old photos and found some of my friend Harris Fellman, a comedy magician who is based in Barcelona.  

He has been doing a variety of magic I havent’ seen before, a whole new niche that for want of a better term, let’s call it Tortilla Magic.  

Basically, he does with tortillas what most people do with cards.  

Want to find out more?  read my older article about Harris here on clownlink.   Tortilla Magician Harris Fellman

Harris Fellman, the world’s #1 Tortilla Magician (sorry Old El Paso and Mexican abuelas!)

International Dad Jokes.

One of my brothers sent this meme/questionaire to me recently, and I have to say, I guess I'm pretty dad.

I guess I'm pretty darned dad.


 

Many of these "witticisms" are things I say on the regular   (Hmmmm, on the regular is not on this list.)

I looked this over with my 12 year old son, and we counted 8 on the list that he recognizes as mine, and those I  mostly learned from my dad.  I thought of them as loving nods to the way I was raised, but perhaps they are just incessant ear worms (memes for you younger folk) 

"Looks Like We'll have to amputate"

Actually, I just used a variation of this joke at the doctor in Spain.  My son had a slight fever (we think Strep, although the test came back negative.  It was not Covid.)  We visited the doctor twice. On the return trip, in my very bad Spanish, I asked as seriously as possible "Es necessito amputado?"  The doctor smiled, recognizing this apparently international dad joke.  


"Let's rock and roll"

I actually usually say "Let's rock and/or roll"  which is a reference to a Simpson's episode that I've long since forgotten.  I am also known to say "Let's G"  "Let's make like a tree and leave."  "Let's make like a bakery truck and haul buns."  and "Let's make like a hockey player and get the puck out of here."

"What's the damage"

When I do this, it's usually accompanied by a clown double-take when looking at the bill, or a Fred Sanford "It's the Big One Elizabeth" stagger while clutching my heart.  One day I might have an actual heart attack while looking at the bill, and then the joke will be on me.

"No, your other right."

I don't associate this with something I use as a dad.  This is a joke I almost exclusively use when teaching clowning and physical comedy to people.  It turns out, a lot of people (especially kids) don't know the difference between left and right, and just follow the cues of what the teacher is doing.  And since they are facing me, they actually do need to use the other right.  (Although sometimes I do demonstrate backwards, just to confuse them!)

"Just resting my eyes"

My dad used to say this all the time while laying on the couch watching a baseball game... and snoring.  I am not that far behind him really.  Well, I don't really watch baseball.  More likely to be watching Netflix or "Critical Role."

"That's how they get you."
This might be one of my most used expressions.  I don't just use it about warranties, I use it about nearly everything. Yes, I've turned into that jokey conspiracy theory dad. Of course they are going to get you.

I inherited a few other sayings from my dad that didn't make the list.

"Hands down by your sides-- like a soldier." 
If he was inspecting you to make sure you were properly dressed, or if you were trying to hide something, he'd say that.

"Pay attention- there will be a quiz later."
If you aren't looking or paying attention

"I gave him the one-five, the one-five, (he gave me the 2,3,4 back.)"

This was kind of a joke, because my dad had a very brief stint as a boxer. (at least that's what I've been told)  He was a tall thin guy at the time with extra long arms, and I guess that was attractive at the time.  He didn't like being hit, or hurt, so he quickly gave it up.  

So what did your dad say to you?  And what are you saying to your kids?  Let me know in the comments.

REVIEW: A very entertaining Spamalot at Mercury Theatre

We saw Spamalot at the Mercury Theatre recently, and it is a very entertaining show, especially if you love Monty Python or silly humor.  Even if you don't know Monty Python, it would be very entertaining and well worth seeing.



DISCLOSURE:  We received review tickets in order to review the show.  This review has no relationship to the cost of the tickets.  I take my integrity seriously, and so should you.
All photos provided by theatre.

The show is (as the ad says) lovingly ripped off from the Monty Python movie "Monty Python and the Holy Grail."   That movie is a collection of absurdist sketches all themed in the world of Camelot, but Camelot is more of an excuse to do crazy comedy.  Many of the sketches from the movie have entered the classical lexicon of sketch comedy:   (I fart in your general direction, the Knights who say Nee, the airspeed velocity of a sparrow, the killer bunny rabbit, and many others)

The Trojan rabbit.  

Back in the early 2000's, former Python Eric Idle  came up with the idea to create the musical, and it premiered in Chicago before moving to Broadway. It's now back in a smaller, leaner production than the one that was on Broadway, and I think it's all the better for it.  The Mercury team has done a great job of keeping the show funny with minimal sets and props.  Director Walter Stearns keeps it going quickly from moment to moment, and musical director Eugene Dizon makes the most of his 6 piece live orchestra.

The Knights of the Round Table sing and dance.

The cast is uniformly excellent, including Jonah Winston as the ever-jaunty King Arthur, Meghan Murphy as the erotically charged Lady of the Lake, and all the other cast members do a great job.  Of particular note were Adam Fane with a number of memorable comic turns as characters and Adam Ross Brody who was a particularly fantastic cowardly Sir Robin.   (You might think that since my name is Adam, I am unfairly calling out actors named Adam.  Not true.  I calls them as I sees them.)  And all the voices were great.

At the end of the show, my wife marveled at how much talent we have in Chicago, which is definitely true.  My eleven year old son just laughed and laughed.  When musicality and comedy are both performed well, it's a joy to behold!

Ooh la la, the Lady of the Lake.

One piece of criticism from a comic point of view:

While I particularly enjoyed the Black Knight scene (a scene where Arthur and the Black Knight duel, and Arthur keeps on cutting off his extremities, to which the black knight says "It's only a flesh wound."  I felt that the mechanics of it the night I saw it were a little sloppy.  The mechanism of how he lost his legs was too obvious and not well-rehearsed enough.  It doesn't have to be perfect or an illusion, but it can't feel hurried, which is what happened the night I saw it.  I'm sure the actors will get the hang of it and do it cleaner by the end of the run.

All in all, a great night of entertaining theatre in Chicago's LakeView neighborhood!

The show was delightful from beginning to end.

SPAMALOT runs through November 3. The performance schedule for SPAMALOT is Wednesdays at 8 pm, Thursdays at 8 pm, Fridays at 8 pm, Saturdays at 3 pm and 8 pm and Sundays at 3 pm. Individual tickets range from $40-$70, and are available online at MercuryTheaterChicago.com,  by phone at 773.325.1700, or in person at the Mercury Theater Box office at 3745 N. Southport Avenue, Chicago.

Jeeves and the Golden Arches

Many years ago, I was challenged to write a restaurant review in the style of a famous writer. I think it was for a contest for the San Francisco Examiner, so it would have been 1992 or 1993.

I, of course, chose PG Wodehouse, with whom I am enamored.

I ended up writing this.  Recently found it, and thought I'd resurrect it onto the internet.

Enjoy!   (And if you'd care to take the challenge of writing a restaurant review in the style of a famous writer, I would love to read it!)

Jeeves and the Golden Arches

Nobody is more alive than I am to the possibilities of a well-turned out breakfast. If there is one thing that old Bertram can be counted on for in the clutch, it is the enjoyment of a solid slice of toast with butter, followed by a precisely measured swallow of tea, and then soundly supported by the well fried egg and bacon sandwich. I have always said that if you give a man an egg, he will be confused; give a man a fried egg sandwich, and his mind will remain sparkling clear.

With this thought in mind we entered the Golden Arches. There was something slightly Moroccan about the decor: Bright orange walls, a subtle air of mystery, and chaps in little hats bustling around. Quite exotic, I thought.

"What ho, Jeeves! This place is a bit of a pip. I quite like it here. Rather cheery."

"If I may be so bold, sir, I might suggest that our appetites will be better served at another culinary establishment."

"Oh come now, Jeeves. It's not quite so bad. I overheard old Fosly-Postlewaite talking about it just the other day, and he said he had a Chopped Meat Something or Other that was quite tasty. Rather hit the spot, he said."

"True, sir, but I had occasion to speak with Mr. Fosly-Postlewaite's man-servant, who spoke rather disparagingly of the bacterial content contained within the victuals. It seems that Mr. Fosly-Postlewaite managed to contract a case of what is euphemistically known as The Arch Revenge."

I did not like the man's attitude. I detected a glimmer of disdain in his approach. I decided to put my foot down.

"I rather like it, here, Jeeves, and Revenge or no Revenge, I shall have the Egg Sandwich upon a muffin, with a spot of sausage as well." The ice in my voice was extraordinary. When a Wooster is determined, he can be firm.

"Very good sir" Jeeves went and ordered from the server, a dour-looking matron with a hideous smile on her face. He brought back the food on a plastic tray.

"Breakfast is served."

"There, you see Jeeves. Not so bad, is it? No revenge or other silly nonsense happening. I haven't turned into a werewolf or anything like that."

The man was silent. Positively sullen.

"This seems a perfectly respectable sandwich. And now for the eating. What is it that that poet said? Something about his kingly breaches?"

"I believe that would be Shakespeare's Henry V, "Once more unto the breach my friends."

"Exactly. Couldn't have said it better, myself." I took my first bite. "And furthermore---"

I gagged. The taste of fried rubber was all throughout my lower larynx. With the reflexes that made me the champion gobber at school, I spit out the so-called sandwich.

"Jeeves. Start the car. We must leave this place at once."

"The roadster is already started, sir."

"Jeeves! But how did you know?"

"I endeavor to give satisfaction, sir."

This is a pyramid scheme...John Oliver

John Oliver has a GREAT episode about Multi-level marketing, including starting his own pyramid scheme to let people know not to get involved with pyramid schemes.

#thisisapyramidscheme

Please share this post with 5 people, and within 14 cycles, everybody on the PLANET will have seen it.  (Hi Tom Waits!)

BOOK REPORT: Voss, by David Ives

Voss-- by the playwright/novelist David Ives, is a great and quick read which I enjoyed immensely.  

Perhaps its because I have a penchant for made up Eastern European countries, or a jones for well written dialect comedy.  Perhaps a well-plotted adventure caper  told in epistolary style where the hero doesn't mean to get into trouble and manages to get out of it is just my cup of tea.  Whatever it is, I can tell you that I highly recommend that you read Voss.

The hero of the tale is Vospop Vsklzwczdsztwcky, or Voss for short.  In a series of letters to his best friend Meero Mrz, he chronicles his trials, triumphs, and tribulations as he and his depressive-prone father Bogdown and his delusionary uncle Shpoont smuggle themselves from their native country Slobovia to America in a shipping container full of black market cheese puffs.  During the course of these letters, Voss has his life threatened, meets a long lost sweetheart who is convinced that she is his fated betrothed, meets a Texas billionaire and his debutante daughter who takes an instant liking to him, and mistakenly uncovers a very shady medical operation which puts his dad's life in danger.   (And those are just SOME of the highlights of the book!)

Ives has a great ear for dialogue (which is almost immediately evident in the book, and is certainly evident in his plays)

Here's a sample from the first chapter, describing his ship ride:

The sheep goes up. My insides go down.  the sheep goes down.  My insides go up.  The sheep rolls to one side and I feel how small I am.  I take our ancient family pocket watch from my pocket and look at the time, hoping it will be America soon.  The sheep rolls again... 

I am no brave boy, Meero, as you know.  I am what is called in Eenglish a "worry wart."  This is what we call in Slobovian a furri fart.  America has no place for furri farts! 

I do not write you in Slobovian because I want to practice my Eenglishes.  This way in America, I will not sound like eediot.  The deefeecold thing about the Eenglish linguitch is the articles.  by articles I mean these words a, an, and the.  Very misterious words, these articles!  What is the difference between "A dog," "the dog," and "an dog"? 

These articles are hard to master because the Slobovian linguitch has no articles.  Slobovian pipple are too poor to have articles.  We donut say, "The dog chased the squirrel."  We say "Dog chased squirrel."  We donut say, "The toilet exploded."  We say, "Toilet exploded." Most often we say, "Toilet exploded again."

There's a lot of satire in this book, and you will recognize lots of cultural landmarks along the way, including some hilarious allusions to Peter Sellars classic Being There,  and the  Ken Kesey book One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

At its best, Voss is kind of a combination of a Donald Westlake Dortmunder novel and a Leonard Ross Hyman Kaplan novel. But designed for young adults.

So read it already, and tell me what you think! Bushweck!