RIP Dave Hollis

Dave Hollis and his daughter Noah.

 I was punched in the gut recently when I heard the news that Dave Hollis had recently and suddenly passed away.  He was an influencer and writer and father (4 kids)  whose work I have admired for the past 4 years.   I never met him personally, but I consumed enough of his content (book, podcast, social media) that I felt like I knew him. 

Dave had apparently entered the hospital for heart related concerns, and despite his exercise and fitness regimen (he was a regular runner, and had recently competed in his first physique contest), something was apparently wrong and had gone undetected.  He died suddenly.

Read Dave's Obituary Here.

It’s a funny thing about Social Media— esp. when done well— you start to have a stake in the success and failure of people you don’t know.  They are talking in your ear, they seem personal to you, you feel like they are talking directly to you, and yeah, you get invested in them. And I certainly did with Dave.

Read my review of Dave's first book back in 2020, where I list the reasons why I like him so much.

I first encountered Dave when he was a guest on someone else’s podcast- Brad Wilson’s now defunct The Process.  In this podcast, Dave talked about personal growth, and how he decided to leave his job at Disney as the president of movie distribution- something he apparently excelled in, in order to become the CEO of his wife’s company, The Hollis Company.  

Dave had recently done a lot of physical work to compete in a physique contest. 
Could this have contributed to his heart problems that led to his demise?
(Photo from his facebook page)

I had never heard of his wife (now ex-wife) Rachel, but I was so impressed with him (and so much of the conversation I resonated with- esp. his discussion about why he left his cushy job at Disney to try something hard (his son asked him what he was afraid of, and he said “not fulfilling his potential”. BULLSEYE.)


  And his story about being a parent and a foster parent was also inspiring and amazing.  (And making your kids become self-reliant and take responsible risks)  I loved this guy from the get go, and wanted to seek out the rest of his stuff.   Which I did. 

I ended up reading his books (see bottom of this post for a list)  and subscribing to his instagram and listening to his and his wife's podcasts: 

START TODAY MORNING SHOW (which is, as the jingle said, "The Morning Show That No One Is Talking About."  This podcast was a lovely little nothing of a time with Dave and Rachel when they were together, and is still available online.  They stopped producing it a little before they announced their divorce.


RISE TOGETHER (which was a couples podcast, with Dave and Rachel, about how to have an exceptional relationship and live your best life.  After the divorce, Dave took it over and turned it into an interview show to try and understand other people's perspectives and walk in their shoes a little while)

Dave Hollis celebrating Christmas 2022 with his family (from his facebook page)

I also watched his YouTube series with his daughter Noah, called TeaTime with Noah, in which he tries to instill values in his 3 year old daughter while they are playing at tea.  Great fun, and a great example of parenting from the get go.  These are going to take on specific significance to Noah and the rest of their family in light of his unexpected death.  And it makes me think of the videos that I have with my kid and my family.

A sample episode of Teatime with Noah.  I recommend watching them.  They are great!  He also started writing a series of children's books based on his Teatime with Noah series. The first one had been released, and I don't know if any more are in the pipeline.

After his breakup with Rachel, Dave soon found new love with trainer/IG personality Heidi Powell.  Here’s a video done last year about their relationship which has also been tragically cut short. (And he talks a little bit about grieving his previous relationship, and talking about divorce and death .  Oddly prescient.)

I’ve gone back and listened to that initial podcast,  where I first encountered him, and it’s great, and sad to hear it again talking about their ultimately doomed marriage and Dave’s untimely death.  (At one point he talks about what will happen when he’s 80, and I am now remembering that was a favorite thing for him to say, and I’m really sad he’ll never get there.)

Dave had a surprisingly profound effect on my life-  his struggles with being a practical person versus having a “growth mindset” really resonated with me.  I remember a conversation he had with Rachel where he talked about being a naysayer to his wife about starting some new project (that ultimately went out to be very successful)  He was trying to be realistic, and practical, and in the process he ended up discouraging her instead of being her cheerleader.  That is a  struggle I know well.  (Only too well, as it turns out)

Dave also introduced me to the quote:  Ships are safe in harbor, but that’s not where they were built to be. (Which he later had tattooed on his body).   Like many other people before me, that quote speaks to me.  Risk is of course part of life, and it’s what we are built for.  But at the same time, I’m not the kind of guy that likes to run the sails higher than prudent, and lately I think I am even more conservative about things as I've gotten older.  And that runs contrary to the idea of enjoying life sensibly.

Dave’s death reminds me of how short and precious life is, and we don’t know what’s in store for us.  And I guess I need to get out of the harbor more often!

Rest In Peace, Dave.  

I’m thinking good thoughts for your family, and for your legacy, and acknowledge the effect you’ve had on my life.

Books by Dave Hollis

Built Through Courage BUY

Buy Dave's First Book

 

This was clearly meant to be a series of books.
 BUY

RIP: Uncle Ricky

Today is both a happy day and a sad day.  It's our 10 year anniversary (see previous post:  That's the happy part)  And the sad part is that I just got word that Stephanie's Uncle Rick passed away today.

The first time I met Ricky he challenged me to a game of Scrabble.

A lot was on the line.  I was dating his niece, and he'd heard I was good at Scrabble. and he wanted to see for himself.  He prided himself on being a good Scrabble player, and he needed to see if I cut the mustard.  I gamely agreed to play him, but I warned him in advance that I was going to bring the heat.  As an avid sports fan, (and a Cubs fanatic) I think he liked that metaphor and I scored some points with him.  That, and the fact that I liked TAB cola.

This is not our board, but it might have been.

As promised, I showed no quarter, and I scored more points with him when I won the game in a come from behind victory not unlike his beloved Cubs had a few years ago.  I don't remember the details, but I think I was down by 45 points, and I scored 53 to win on a bingo.  We played a few more times, and I think it was always pretty close, but I managed to win a few more times.   We talked about it almost everytime we saw each other, but somehow we stopped playing.

ABOVE:Uncle Ricky reading us his poem at our wedding
BELOW: Group hug with Uncle Ricky at our wedding.

We saw each other at lots of family events, including our wedding, where he gave us one of his patented poems (super corny, extra long, and filled with terrible rhymes and heartfelt sentiments.)  We also took in a couple of sports activities, including a soccer game and a couple of Saluki games.  He was a huge Saluki fan (he and his wife travelled all over the country watching the Salukis play)  

When he visited us in New York, I was at a loss of where to take him- he's not much of an art museum guy.  Fortunately, I discovered the NY Sports Museum of America (which closed 6 months later) where we had a fantastic time looking through the room of Heisman winners, seeing one of Shaq's shoes, while Ricky regaled me with tales of bowling leagues and trophies  (He was a bonafide sports nut!)

I thought of Ricky when I was recently at Northbrook for a speedskating match. They had a wall of fame to the lost art of ice barrel jumping. I wanted to find out if he knew about it (apparently it was a big sport once upon a time, especially big in Northbrook, and it has now since become a former sport.)  But it used to have its own television specials. It was just the kind of quirky sport that Ricky would have liked, and known all about. I'm sad I never asked him about it.

Here's some of the photos of barrel jumping from the Northbrook Speedskating Hall of Fame that made me think of Rick.

 

 

Ricky was a true mensch.  Soft-spoken, and humble,  he was a great listener, who always asked good questions, and wanted to know what other people thought.  He loved chatting, and Tab cola, and whenever we met up we'd always drink a Tab and talk.  He was also a big fan of the restaurant Fuddruckers, which he once treated us to a lunch when we happened to be not so far from him. He was a gentle guy, and always a gentleman.  He was a good soul.

Ricky always had a kind and encouraging word for nearly everybody, (except for maybe Donald Trump, who he detested.) The last time I saw Ricky was last Friday night at the Family Seder at his house.  There were 26 people there, and Ricky was in his element, greeting people, laughing, and telling a self-effacing joke.  He led the Seder off with a rather long but impassioned comparison of Trump's America to North Korea, and while it was a little weird to start off the Seder there, everyone at the table knew that it was all heartfelt.  The seder continued, and the food was great, the company was great, and everything was just hunkydory.

As we said goodbye, he clapped me on the shoulder and said maybe we'd play Scrabble again.  I agreed gamely.

Unfortunately, on Sunday, Ricky had a sudden and massive heart attack while napping, and he was not able to recover.  I will update this post with the funeral information.

Hopefully, there is a heaven, and Ricky is up there right now, getting  Ernie Banks's autograph and bemoaning the choices of the Saluki's coach, drinking TAB and playing Scrabble. And maybe even learning more about Barrel Jumping.

Godspeed, Uncle Ricky!

UPDATE:

The obituary from the Chicago Sun-Times:

Schwab, Richard D. Of St. John, IN, died on April 5. He was 71. Rick spent 49 years in the insurance industry, nearly 40 of them as an agent at Rick Schwab State Farm Insurance in Glenwood, IL, the town where he and treasured wife Diane raised their two sons, Danny and Jay. Rick was born in Chicago and spent most of his youth living on the south side of the city, unaware that the love of his life and wife of 41 years was growing up just a few blocks away. Many days of his childhood were spent playing neighborhood ballgames and skipping class in favor of rooting on his Cubbies at Wrigley Field. Rick was a sports fanatic with a penchant for backing the underdog. He was especially enraptured with the Cubs - even authoring a book, "Stuck on the Cubs," a humorous take on the life of a Cubs fan. His passion ran equally deep for his beloved Salukis, the sports teams of his alma mater, Southern Illinois University. He also was a horse racing enthusiast and lover of bowling. Rick was known for his extreme generosity, be it with loved ones or even strangers on the street. His perfect day would include a piping hot pizza, an ice cold can of Tab and reliving stories of beloved athletes such as Ernie Banks and Walt Frazier, surrounded by family and friends. What else made Rick beam? A hot blackjack streak in Las Vegas, a homecoming parade in Carbondale, a musical that kept him awake until at least intermission, and virtually anything uttered by his three grandchildren. He had little use for iPhones or social media, believing that preferable forms of communication included a well-crafted letter, a nightly newscast and a good, old-fashioned newspaper. Rick is survived by Diane; by his two sons, Danny (Emmy) and Jay (Alexa); siblings Steven (Nancy) and Melinda (the late Alan Goldberg); his grandchildren, Sarah, Gabriel and Audrey; his mother, Gertrude Metzger; a beloved circle of extended family and friends, and his "granddogs," Sadie and Walter. He was preceded in death by his father, Hank Schwab, and his in-laws, Harry and Magrit Sugar. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Southern Illinois University Foundation or JDRF. Services will be held at 10:30 a.m. on Monday, April 9 at B'nai Yehuda Beth Shalom, 1424 W. 183rd St., in Homewood, Ill. Burial will follow at Jewish Oakridge Cemetery in Hillside, IL. For funeral information, 847-256-5700.

Published in Chicago Sun-Times on Apr. 6, 2018

IN MEMORIAM: Irma Slavit & Joyce Silverman

Jewish gravestone 

Two of my older relatives passed away recently within one day of each other, and it has me bummed out.

Listen, I know it's the way that all things must go, and not to get morose, everyone will one day die. It's just making me feel my mortality all over again.  I'm 52.  How many years do I have left?  (I don't really want to know, and I hope it's a lot!)

And my two relatives lived pretty long lives.  My great aunt Irma lived to be 97, and her niece Joyce lived to be 83.  It seems easy to say "Well, they had pretty long lives."

Both Irma and Joyce were smart funny women, very involved in politics and activism.  My Aunt Irma was the past president of the League of Women Voters and an officer of a chapter of the ACLU.  She went to Pembroke College (Brown's sister school)

Joyce was also a past president of the League of Women Voters and was active in local politics.

Both Irma and Joyce were in the class of relatives that for the longest time I did not know how I was related to them.  We didn't see them that often in our everyday life, but whenever there was a family function (Bar Mitzvah, funeral, wedding, etc) they were always there.  You know, I was 10 or 13-- I knew who they were, but didn't know how they were connected.

Part of that comes from the fact that they are from my dad's fathers side, and my dad did not have a relationship with his dad, so that piece was missing.

Irma was my Great Aunt.  She was the younger sister of my Grandfather. 

Joyce was my Dad's first cousin.  She was the daughter of my Dad's Aunt Bess.  I'm not sure if that makes us first cousins once removed, or second cousins.

I had been meaning to go down to Tucson to see Irma for a couple of days just to say Hello and ask her questions about family stuff (she was the family historian)  But I procrastinated, and now it's too late.

Rest In Peace Irma and Joyce.

SILVERMAN, Joyce Gorman Age 83, passed away peacefully on September 2, 2016, after a long struggle with Alzheimer's disease. She is survived by sons Mark Silverman (Sue Fields) of Conway, MA, and Peter Silverman (Suzanne Sullivan) of Barre, MA, and daughter Amy McFarland (Tom McFarland) of Stoughton, WI; by grandchildren Sarah Silverman, Jason Silverman, Eliza McFarland, Ricky Silverman, and Kyra McFarland; and great-granddaughter Kyla Benson. She was preceded in death by her parents; her sister Marilynn (Gorman) Siegel; and her dear companions Bill Dutzcak and Edmund Murphy. She was born in Providence, RI, the daughter of Bess (Gertsacov) and Adolph Gorman, on October 30, 1932. She attended Wellesley College, Class of 1954, and married the late Richard Silverman in 1952 (divorced 1980). She lived for over 40 years in Weston, MA, was president of the League of Women Voters and served on the Town Democratic Committee. She worked as legislative aide for ten years to State Senator Carol Amick, and in many other public service positions. She retired to a waterfront home in Wareham, MA in 1998, and was active in Democratic politics there. She was an avid gardener and music lover, was devoted to her family and to politics, and was a dedicated daily newspaper reader. 

SLAVIT, Irma Gertsacov, Age 97, passed away peacefully on September 1, 2016. She is survived by her son Dr. Michael Slavit and daughters Roberta Carichner (E. Norbert Carichner) and Betsy Slavit, grandchildren Michelle Slavit aka Jazmine Bridget Knight, Joanna Carichner (Ben Christensen) and David Carichner (Barbara Methot) and great grandchildren Logan Carichner and Sarah Carichner. She was preceded in death by her husband Leonard in 2007. Irma was born in Providence, RI, the daughter of Ethel (Reffkin) and Max Gertsacov on May 27, 1919. She attended Pembroke College and married the late Leonard Slavit in 1939. She lived for 87 years in Providence and Warwick, RI. , was president of the League of Women Voters and an officer of the R.I. chapter of the ACLU. She worked as Graduate Placement Director of Brown University, and as an employment counsellor and counsellor trainer for Blackstone Valley Community Action and Rhode Island Displaced Homemakers. She retired to her daughter Roberta's home in Tucson, AZ in 2006. She was an avid reader, was devoted to her family and to political action. She was celebrated by all who knew her as a positive presence in the world through her social, employment and volunteer activities.