This is put together through a combination of resource gathering, AI, and prior research. In 2017 we were 2 blocks away from the terrorist attacks in Barcelona that killed 13 people and injured over 130 more. We ended up seeking out support for our then 8 year old with a psychologist, and after a few months we were able to successfully resolve the bad feelings our kid was having.
The most important thing is to have an open and age appropriate talk with your kid and let them know that you are there to support them no matter what.
I will include some additional resources from other creators at the bottom of the article.
1. Ground yourself first
Children borrow adult nervous systems. Before initiating any conversation, pause, breathe slowly (exhale longer than inhale), and notice your own emotions. Decide what the child actually needs to know versus what you feel compelled to unload. Regulate first; then relate; then reason.
2. Assess what they already know
Begin with open, neutral prompts:
“You may have heard something sad or scary happened. What have you heard?”
This prevents either
(a) introducing brand‑new fear or
(b) letting misinformation solidify.
Listen more than you speak initially; mirror their words to validate
(“You heard someone hurt him and people are sad—that makes sense you’d feel confused”).
3. Provide simple, truthful, non‑graphic facts
Match detail to developmental level:
Ages 3–6: “A man died after someone hurt him. The helpers (police, doctors) came. You are safe here.”
Ages 7–10: “A public figure named Charlie Kirk was killed. The person who did it has been caught (or is being looked for, if still under investigation). Adults are working to keep people safe.”
Ages 11–13: Add basics about motive only if verified; emphasize critical thinking and media literacy.
Teens: Invite discussion of social issues, justice, and emotions; co‑create an action channel (letters, service, advocacy) to reduce helplessness.
Avoid speculation, motive rumors, or sensational language. Correct gently: “Some posts guess why it happened, but officials are still confirming.”
4. Normalize feelings without pathologizing
Name a full spectrum: sadness, anger, confusion, numbness, curiosity, even not caring much—all valid. Distinguish feeling versus action:
“It’s okay to feel angry; it’s not okay to harm or threaten.”
Offer language: “A tight tummy can be worry,” or “Butterflies can mean mixed feelings.”
5. Reassure about safety realistically
Children seek the following.
(a) Am I safe now?
(b) Are my caregivers available?
(c) What happens next?
Provide concrete safety anchors: who secures their school, home routines that stay the same, emergency plans you already have.
Avoid false absolutes (“This can never happen again”), but emphasize rarity and layers of protection.
6. Limit and curate media exposure
For elementary ages, proactive limitation is protective: no autoplay news, disable push alerts, co‑view if older.
For teens, shift from restriction to coaching: discuss algorithmic amplification, confirmation bias, and emotional self‑check (“How do I feel after scrolling this?”). Encourage “media breaks” and a bedtime news curfew (at least 60 minutes before sleep).
7. Encourage expression through multiple channels
Some children talk; others draw, build, move, or play out themes. Provide materials (paper, blocks, clay).
Reflect themes without interrogating (“I notice the people in your drawing are helping each other”).
For teens, journaling, music, and moderated online forums with clear community standards can help—monitor for spirals into graphic or rage‑fueling content.
8.Maintain routines—ritual equals nervous‑system predictability
Keep sleep schedules, mealtimes, school attendance, extracurriculars. Layer in small grounding rituals: a morning check‑in question (“Color of your mood?”), evening gratitude, a consistent goodbye phrase. Continuity communicates safety more powerfully than repeated verbal reassurances.
9. Foster agency and prosocial response
Helplessness feeds anxiety. Age‑appropriate actions: draw a card for those grieving, participate in a kindness challenge, support a violence prevention or mental health initiative vetted by adults. Emphasize communal resilience: “When bad things happen, people come together to help.”
10. Watch for red flags warranting professional evaluation
Seek a child psychologist or pediatrician if for more than 2–4 weeks you observe:
Early support prevents consolidation of traumatic stress patterns.
11. Support diverse identity impacts
If the event has ideological, political, or identity‑based components, marginalized youth may feel targeted.
Ask: “Does this make you worry about people like you or your friends?”
Validate, affirm belonging, and, if needed, connect with community or faith leaders for culturally responsive support.
12. Model healthy coping yourself
Let children see you use adaptive strategies: brief news check then off, a calming walk, reaching out to a friend, expressing sadness appropriately. Narrate coping: “I felt upset reading the news, so I took deep breaths and called Aunt Mei. That helped my body settle.”
13. Keep the door open—this is an ongoing dialogue
Close each talk with an invitation: “You can always ask more questions—nothing is off-limits.” Revisit after new developments; kids often process in layers. A single conversation rarely resolves their concerns.
14. Some sample age‑tailored scripts (adapt as needed)
Young child: “Something sad happened far away. A man died after someone hurt him. The helpers came. We are safe here. How does your body feel?”
Preteen: “A well‑known person, Charlie Kirk, was killed. The authorities are handling it. You might see posts guessing things—let’s check reliable sources together. What questions do you have?”
Teen: “You’re probably seeing commentary and debate about why this happened. Let’s sort facts from opinion. How is what you’re seeing affecting your mood, sleep, or focus?”
15. What NOT to do
Do not flood with adult-level political analysis or unverified speculation.
Do not promise impossible guarantees.
Do not force a child to talk; offer invitations and multiple modes.
Do not treat avoidance plus distress signs as “resilience”—check in.
16. When to consider specialized trauma‑focused therapy
If symptoms meet criteria for acute stress or persist, evidence‑based options include Trauma‑Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF‑CBT), Child and Family Traumatic Stress Intervention (CFTSI), or parent‑child dyadic work. Early intervention shortens duration and severity.
Final reassurance
Most children, when supported with honest simplicity, emotional attunement, stable routines, and a sense of agency, will process the event without long‑term psychological harm. Your calm presence and willingness to listen are the most powerful protective factors.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Digital Childhood Alliance article
Education Week Article
I will include some additional resources from other creators at the bottom of the article.
 |
| The Most Important thing you can do is provide comfort |
Children borrow adult nervous systems. Before initiating any conversation, pause, breathe slowly (exhale longer than inhale), and notice your own emotions. Decide what the child actually needs to know versus what you feel compelled to unload. Regulate first; then relate; then reason.
2. Assess what they already know
Begin with open, neutral prompts:
“You may have heard something sad or scary happened. What have you heard?”
This prevents either
(a) introducing brand‑new fear or
(b) letting misinformation solidify.
Listen more than you speak initially; mirror their words to validate
(“You heard someone hurt him and people are sad—that makes sense you’d feel confused”).
3. Provide simple, truthful, non‑graphic facts
Match detail to developmental level:
Ages 3–6: “A man died after someone hurt him. The helpers (police, doctors) came. You are safe here.”
Ages 7–10: “A public figure named Charlie Kirk was killed. The person who did it has been caught (or is being looked for, if still under investigation). Adults are working to keep people safe.”
Ages 11–13: Add basics about motive only if verified; emphasize critical thinking and media literacy.
Teens: Invite discussion of social issues, justice, and emotions; co‑create an action channel (letters, service, advocacy) to reduce helplessness.
Avoid speculation, motive rumors, or sensational language. Correct gently: “Some posts guess why it happened, but officials are still confirming.”
 |
| Talk to your kids honestly and openly and age appropriately. |
Name a full spectrum: sadness, anger, confusion, numbness, curiosity, even not caring much—all valid. Distinguish feeling versus action:
“It’s okay to feel angry; it’s not okay to harm or threaten.”
Offer language: “A tight tummy can be worry,” or “Butterflies can mean mixed feelings.”
5. Reassure about safety realistically
Children seek the following.
(a) Am I safe now?
(b) Are my caregivers available?
(c) What happens next?
Provide concrete safety anchors: who secures their school, home routines that stay the same, emergency plans you already have.
Avoid false absolutes (“This can never happen again”), but emphasize rarity and layers of protection.
6. Limit and curate media exposure
For elementary ages, proactive limitation is protective: no autoplay news, disable push alerts, co‑view if older.
For teens, shift from restriction to coaching: discuss algorithmic amplification, confirmation bias, and emotional self‑check (“How do I feel after scrolling this?”). Encourage “media breaks” and a bedtime news curfew (at least 60 minutes before sleep).
7. Encourage expression through multiple channels
 |
| Let your child express themselves as they see fit. |
Some children talk; others draw, build, move, or play out themes. Provide materials (paper, blocks, clay).
Reflect themes without interrogating (“I notice the people in your drawing are helping each other”).
For teens, journaling, music, and moderated online forums with clear community standards can help—monitor for spirals into graphic or rage‑fueling content.
8.Maintain routines—ritual equals nervous‑system predictability
Keep sleep schedules, mealtimes, school attendance, extracurriculars. Layer in small grounding rituals: a morning check‑in question (“Color of your mood?”), evening gratitude, a consistent goodbye phrase. Continuity communicates safety more powerfully than repeated verbal reassurances.
9. Foster agency and prosocial response
Helplessness feeds anxiety. Age‑appropriate actions: draw a card for those grieving, participate in a kindness challenge, support a violence prevention or mental health initiative vetted by adults. Emphasize communal resilience: “When bad things happen, people come together to help.”
10. Watch for red flags warranting professional evaluation
Seek a child psychologist or pediatrician if for more than 2–4 weeks you observe:
- Persistent nightmares or sleep refusal
- Physical complaints (stomachaches, headaches) without medical cause
- Social withdrawal or loss of previously enjoyed interests
- Regressive behaviors (bedwetting, baby talk) beyond first couple of weeks
- Hypervigilance, exaggerated startle, or violent reenactment play that escalates
- Self‑harm statements, hopelessness, or nihilistic humor
Early support prevents consolidation of traumatic stress patterns.
11. Support diverse identity impacts
If the event has ideological, political, or identity‑based components, marginalized youth may feel targeted.
Ask: “Does this make you worry about people like you or your friends?”
Validate, affirm belonging, and, if needed, connect with community or faith leaders for culturally responsive support.
12. Model healthy coping yourself
Let children see you use adaptive strategies: brief news check then off, a calming walk, reaching out to a friend, expressing sadness appropriately. Narrate coping: “I felt upset reading the news, so I took deep breaths and called Aunt Mei. That helped my body settle.”
13. Keep the door open—this is an ongoing dialogue
Close each talk with an invitation: “You can always ask more questions—nothing is off-limits.” Revisit after new developments; kids often process in layers. A single conversation rarely resolves their concerns.
14. Some sample age‑tailored scripts (adapt as needed)
 |
| Make your kid feel comforted to and listened to. |
Young child: “Something sad happened far away. A man died after someone hurt him. The helpers came. We are safe here. How does your body feel?”
Preteen: “A well‑known person, Charlie Kirk, was killed. The authorities are handling it. You might see posts guessing things—let’s check reliable sources together. What questions do you have?”
Teen: “You’re probably seeing commentary and debate about why this happened. Let’s sort facts from opinion. How is what you’re seeing affecting your mood, sleep, or focus?”
15. What NOT to do
Do not flood with adult-level political analysis or unverified speculation.
Do not promise impossible guarantees.
Do not force a child to talk; offer invitations and multiple modes.
Do not treat avoidance plus distress signs as “resilience”—check in.
16. When to consider specialized trauma‑focused therapy
If symptoms meet criteria for acute stress or persist, evidence‑based options include Trauma‑Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF‑CBT), Child and Family Traumatic Stress Intervention (CFTSI), or parent‑child dyadic work. Early intervention shortens duration and severity.
Final reassurance
Most children, when supported with honest simplicity, emotional attunement, stable routines, and a sense of agency, will process the event without long‑term psychological harm. Your calm presence and willingness to listen are the most powerful protective factors.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Digital Childhood Alliance article
Education Week Article
