Saturday, November 16, 2019

Repost: Resources for Grieving Children

One of the books available on the list.

I posted and compiled a  list for grieiving children about a year ago, and with all the recent school shootings, I thought it worthwhile to remind people about it.

This is a list of books and resources about what to do when your kids experience death or criminality, either within the family or within your community.  There are a lot of resources, and if you find one that is out of date or no longer available, please let me know and I will amend it on the website.

Contact me!

Of course, these are books about how to deal with the aftermath of a terrible situation.

 I wish I had better answers on how to prevent these situations from occurring.

Two thoughts that might help.

1. We clearly need stricter control on access to guns (although the barn door may be swinging wide open already on this issue, it makes sense to close it so that it doesn't keep happening)  The idea of arming teachers (or mall officials, or anybody else) is ludicrous.  What's to stop them from going on a rampage?  Or shooting innocent people by mistake?  And kids without access to guns can't shoot up malls or schools or workplaces or anywhere for that matter.  For that matter, parents with guns  need to have a stronger security method than leaving them under the bed or in an unlocked gun cabinet.  (or a locked gun cabinet with the key in the lock.)

2. Parents need to do a better job of communicating and listening  Lots of young disaffected kids would benefit from better parenting.  Many of them would be more apt to come to their parents with problems, to talk to somebody, if there parents were able to model that behavior.  I'm not indicting or blaming the parents of school or mall shooters, so if you happen to be one, please understand:  THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

I'm saying that people who feel disaffected and alone feel that way because they feel unheard and not listened to, and everybody (yes, even parents such as myself who already spend a lot of time thinking about parenting and writing about it) can do a better job of listening to and understanding their kids.)  For parents who haven't already been consciously listening and communicating with their kids, this could be the start of a better relationship and could literally be saving lives.

If you've got other ideas on what might help, I'd be happy to listen to them.

Please note that I am ruthless about taking down comments  that I don't like or that I think are helpful.  As the blog owner I get to make up those rules, and I reserve the right to take down comments whenever I want.  This is not a free speech issue-- you have the right to start your own danged blog-- but I don't have to host your non-helpful opinions on mine.  I like to think I encourage polite debate.  Anything not in that vain will be excised.

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