Nicki Green's Firmament at the Contemporary Jewish Museum

 A little bit of bragging is in order. 

My cousin Nicki Green has her first solo exhibition of her work at a major museum.  It opened last week at the Contemporary Jewish Museum in San Francisco.  The show is called Firmament, and is on through Feb 2, 2025.

From left: Nicki Green, Drifting Upon Swollen Water (Gavriel), A Slack Unthreading (Raphael), Perforated in the Night (Uriel), Fruitful Vine 2 (Michael), 2024. Courtesy the artist and CULT Aimee Friberg.
 

 She also has another related exhibition Eye of the Fountain at gallery CULT Aimee 

 Friberg that runs through November 16 also in San Francisco

 

 Her work is ceramic based, and celebrates and explores liminality and the interplay between Judaism, trans identity, and transformation.  The press release says it a lot better than I can:

This September, The Contemporary Jewish Museum (The CJM) will present Nicki Green: Firmament, the transdisciplinary artist’s first solo museum exhibition. In this presentation, Green explores identity, transformation, and Jewish tradition through artworks that invoke imagery of fermentation, Jewish ritual, mycelium, and more. Bringing together new and existing works, the exhibition will include large-scale sculptures, fiber works, ritual objects, and drawings. The exhibition will be on view September 5, 2024 through February 2, 2025.

Green’s inspiration for this exhibition comes from the concept of the firmament — a thin dome or expanse referenced in the Book of Genesis that divides the earth from the heavens. This form of separation in the Torah offers Green a reference to imagine an architectural object that functions as a sanctuary for in-between states of being and thinking, and an environment of warmth, welcome, and liberation for trans and nonbinary bodies.

The central sculpture appears as a large tent-like structure situated in the center of the gallery and frames several of the large-scale clay works on view. In addition to the firmament, the structure is inspired by descriptions of the biblical mishkan or tabernacle — a portable sanctuary constructed by the Jewish people to represent God’s earthly domain while in exile. The “skin” of the tent — a sculpture made by Green’s longtime collaborator, artist Ricki Dwyer — is woven to reach up to the heavens, while also anchoring and sheltering the artworks and bodies in the space.  READ THE REST OF THE PRESS RELEASE

A couple of years ago I went to the Lyons Bienniale because she had some work featured in it, I spent a couple of days roaming the Bienniale, hanging out with her and her husband and her friends (including Ricki Dwyer, who collaborated on the main sculpture for this exhibit, and basically enjoying Lyons.  Eye of the Fountain was featured in the Lyons exhibit.









And my family went and visited her in Wisconsin on a very snowy day when she was in residence at the Kohler factory.  

Eye of the Fountain. This appeared at the Lyons Bienniale

Nicki and I when we visited together at the Kohler 

Nicki's a really talented artist who puts a lot of meaning and thought into her work.  I am so proud of her for slugging it out in the competitive art world, doing what she loves, and yes, making it happen. I know how hard it is to stick your guns as an artist.

If you are in the Bay Area, please go check out her exhibits and let me know how you liked them!

For more information about the exhibition, and ticket prices, visit the Contemporary Jewish Museum's website:  https://www.thecjm.org/exhibitions/236. And you can read the text of her exhibition here: https://tinyurl.com/nickigreenfirmamenttext

Information about her exhibit at Cult Aimee Friberg is here:
https://cultexhibitions.com/exhibition/eye-of-the-fountain/

You can also read these reviews of her exhibition here:
 SF Gate article https://tinyurl.com/nickigreensfgat2024

 Kqed review https://tinyurl.com/nickigreenkqed2024
Hey Alma: https://tinyurl.com/nickigreen-heyalma

Nu, May is Jewish American Heritage Month. Who Knew?

 

I certainly was not aware that May is Jewish American Heritage Month.   I knew that February was Black History month, and that March is Women's History Month, and that Pride Month is in June.  I didn't realize that Jewish American Heritage  was this month.  (By the way, Asian American, Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander Heritage Month is also in May.  Which makes sense, because if you count from 2000 years ago, Israel (Judea) is officially Asia. 

May is also Older Americans Month.  This is the time that Israel, Florida, and the Jews all align as one.  Did I mention Chinese food on Christmas Eve?  I was about to.  It is all coming together!

Some of the many prominent Jewish Americans.  I am not prominent enough to be on this list

But despite the obviousness of all these co-occurences, plus the fact that I am a Jewish American, I somehow missed the memo.

JAHM began as an effort by the Jewish Museum of Florida and South Florida Jewish community leaders. Through the bi-partisan efforts of Representative Debbie Wasserman Schultz (FL-23) and the late Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, JAHM was established in 2006 by President George W. Bush to honor the contributions and achievements of Jewish Americans and to educate all Americans.

 It’s been continued every year since then by Presidential Proclamation. 

Other notable milestones include the formation of a national advisory committee in 2007 to drive the effort forward; NASA Astronaut Garrett Reisman, a New Jersey native and University of Pennsylvania graduate, carrying the original JAHM proclamation into space in 2010, and President and First Lady Barack and Michelle Obama hosting the first-ever White House reception in honor of JAHM that same year. 

In 2018, The Weitzman  National Museum of American Jewish History. (Hereafter known as The Weitzman) became the home of JAHM and now leads the nationwide effort. Located in Philadelphia, the Weitzman does a great job of cataloging and promoting American Jewish culture.  Especially in light of the recent rise of anti-semitism in the US, and the unrest that is on college campuses, 

If you are looking for additional Jewish American Heritage Month events around the country, here's a list maintained by The Weitzman. 

https://jewishamericanheritage.org/events/2024-events-in-your-community/


There are many more events happening around the country, and the list above has a pretty comprehensive list of them.  


Last year, an amazing concert by Frank London and the Klezmer Brass All-Stars (in association with Joshua Nelson and the Kosher Gospel Singers) was held to celebrate.  When Klezmer meets Gospel, the results are electric!

Here it is for your listening and viewing entertainment.
(If you can't see the video below, log in here to view it)

Crying over Kol Nidre: NYPD Blue Edition

Last night was Erev Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, and I spent most of it crying.  I wasn't in synagogue listening to the beautiful Kol Nidre service (although that had been the plan)  Instead I was at a different altar (the television set),  weeping over a fictional made up tragedy.   I'll tell you about it in a little bit.

As I have chronicled here before-- I have a difficult time with my Judaism/going to synagogue  I want to not go, but I feel guilty about not wanting to go, and feel like I should go.  On the other hand, I rarely have a spiritual moment when I'm there.  Yet, still on another hand, if I want my son to have a chance at a Jewish life, I should suck it up.  Yet, I feel like I'm doing it out of obligation to my dead mother.  I've got so many hands on this, I'm clearly a Jewish octopus.

[SIDENOTE : OMG!  I had no idea when I googled Jewish Octopus that it is a major anti-semite theme!  It makes perfect sense.  Here's an image of a Jewish Octopus from 1891

F.T. Richards, “Our Old Friend to the Octopus,” from Life, December 9, 1891. via Haaretz

and here's a Nazi version of the Jewish Octopus

I had no idea.

Back to the story:  My wife was unequivocal.  She wanted to go.  So we made reservations and paid for our High Holiday tickets.  We split our ticket this year-- Rosh Hashanah at Mishkan, Yom Kippur at Tzedek.  Both of them are progressive Jewish congregations in our area.

Except, come last night, and my wife has a headache and we end up not going.  I feel slightly off the hook about going, but also slightly guilty, and kind of relieved (see Jewish octopus comment above)  I make dinner, and my wife didn't like what I made, so I made her something else, and she didn't like that either, but that's grist for a different mill.

After dinner, and after the bear goes to bed, we retreat to our different corners of the house to watch television.

I start watching my latest binge watch show.  I'm watching NYPD Blue, which was the show that first got me hooked on television.  In the 90's I didn't own a television at all, and then I bought one so that I could watch videos, and it got some stations.  One of them had NYPD Blue on reruns.  I was sick one day, and tired of reading, so I watched a dumb cop show on TV, and lo and behold it wasn't dumb, it was so good, and the acting was great.  I started watching them all, and then used that VCR to tape NYPD Blue twice a day.  When TIVO came around, it was a godsend for my worn out videotape.

The three hours of NYPD Blue I watched were pretty momentous, and I started weeping in the first hour and wept pretty continuously throughout all three.

WARNING:  THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.  But since this show premiered 20+ years ago, get over your own self.

The first hour was Season 3, Episode 19, "Auntie Maimed." 

S3, E19, "Auntie Maimed." 

If you don't know the show at all, I am not going to explain the plot for you.  But basically, the protagonist is Andy Sipowicz, a former drunk/blue collar cop who manages to pull himself together after being shot in Season 1, and has married a D.A. He's a fantastic character, both bullheaded and mean and with the proverbial heart of gold, but it's hidden.)  It's now Season 3, and he's made a lot of progress.

In this episode, Andy's wife Sylvia is very pregnant, and he ends up getting beeped in the middle of a case that she's on the way to the hospital.  Andy drops everything and goes to meet her, along with his son Andy Jr..  He had been a terrible father to Andy Jr. his whole life, because of drinking, and it was only recently that he started having a relationship with him after ignoring him his whole life.  Andy Jr. is going to become a cop in Hackensack, and his dad has been showing him the ropes, finally able to contribute meaningfully.

Andy goes to the hospital to meet Sylvia, and she's on a stretcher, she has the baby, and there's a touch and go moment where it looks like she might bleed out, but she's okay.  Andy comes out to greet Andy Jr. and hugs him, telling him that this little guy is going to need his attention, but he doesn't love him any less.  It was a touching moment.

Andy, Sylvia, and the baby.  The moment before the tragedy starts going.  And the moment I started weeping.

But I was weeping once Sylvia is saved because I already know the story of this tragedy.

Andy Jr. gets killed in a bar shooting, trying to save somebody, and Sylvia will be killed a little while later, in another shooting at the courthouse.  Andy will lose his sobriety over both of these things. But right now, here is Andy at the top of his game, seeming like nothing is going to go wrong.  The happy hero at the start of his adventures.  And I started weeping for what is to come.

S3, E20, "A Death In The Family."

And then very next episode (S3, Episode 20) is a Death In the Family.  It's the episode where Andy Jr. dies!  It's directly after the baby gets born!  Once I realize that,  I am bawling throughout the episode.  There's a genius moment when Andy goes on a hospital run and he realizes that the victim's effects are his son's effects, and he can't quite put it together.  He spends the rest of the episode desperately trying to hold it together, and failing, and you are watching him fail, and I am sobbing uncontrollably.  He also asks his partner Bobby Simone (the infallible Jimmy Smits) to kill the guys who did this, and he almost does, except he doesn't and thank God, because it's not the right guys.)

The episode ends with Andy drinking, and the squad hasn't solved the case, and it is doom and gloom.  And I am still sobbing.

End of episode, Andy is about to succumb to drinking.  I am yelling at the screen, and sobbing "Don't Do It."

But I can't not watch the next episode, (S3, E21, "Closing Time") and Andy is drinking and gets kicked out of the house.

S3, E21, "Closing Time"

There are a number of genius moments in this episode:

Sylvia kicks Andy out of the house until he stops drinking and lying and acknowledging his actions, and he's drunk, and he says "Do you mind if I touch the baby."  And she says no, and then yes, sure.  And he touches the baby's crib, just a little, and that's enough, because he knows he's wrong, he just can't admit it.

Later he goes to his job, and he's cracking wise, and falls asleep during an interview, and nearly gets himself fired.  He gets sent home to deal with it by his boss Arthur Fancy (James McDaniel), who tells him "I haven't canned you yet out of respect for what you've gone through and what you can do, but next time I see you you are sober or you are out of a job."  Andy's anger and his sarcasm in this scene are intense.

Bobby shoots the skells who killed Andy Junior in a slow motion shootout.

 Later in the episode, Bobby and Diane (Kim Delaney) manage to meet a prostitute that leads them to the two guys.  In a street shoot out, Bobby kills them both.  (But it's a clean shoot, they were gunning for him. So ethics crisis averted.  The squad trys to tell Andy, but he's in a bar when he finds out.  He's drunk off his gourd, and tries to move three young black men off their stoop where they are hanging out.  (He had told Andy about how to do that when he was giving lessons, and Andy has been blaming himself for Andy Jr.'s do-gooder streak that got him killed) The three boys challenge him, and then beat him, taking his gun and breaking his ribs.  This was in 1996, and obviously still resonates today.

Now Bobby and Greg and Officer Shannon and Lt. Fancy manage to find the gun with some brilliant police work.  They find the guy whose name is Knowledge Islam, and Lt. Fancy tells him if he brings him to the gun he can walk away from the five years for assaulting a police officer.  Knowledge says, how do I know you won't kill me once you have what you want?  Fancy says, "You know where your mom is at?  You, me, and your mom go get the gun, and you walk home with her."   Genius moment and keeps me bawling.

Andy, beat up.

Fancy finds the gun, and asks Andy, "What's left on this job for you?"  And Andy, bullheaded, says, I can help people.  I can do good if I can stop drinking.  Fancy says "Next time this happens, and you are drinking, you could get killed, and your wife won't have a husband, and your baby won't have a father, and some guys will go to jail for something that didn't have to be."  Andy accepts that , and Fancy believes in him and lets him keep his job! He says, "Don't make me sorry."  and Andy, says "I won't boss.  Thanks."  Pedestrian, but the way he does it kills me.

But what kills me is Andy, in the hospital.  He's all beat up, he's sobered up some and he's realized how much jeopardy his future is in. He thanks Bobby for putting up with his crap, and Bobby sticks it to him.  He says, Partner, do you want our help?  Andy says yes, help me.

It's the moment where he truly recognizes that he is powerless.  At the end of the episode, he knocks on Sylvia's door and asks her to please take him back.  "The key for me is I can not drink" The acting is so powerful, and she says "we love you" and takes him back.


By the end of this, I have been weeping for a good two hours, thinking about how when you screw up you have to ask for forgiveness, and start with a clean slate.  That your tragedy unfolds before you, but you still have to go on.  Which is exactly what Kol Nidre and Yom Kippur are all about.  So I didn't go to services, but I was right there in the thick of it, at least emotionally.

If services were more like NYPD Blue, maybe I'd go more often!

MILESTONE: The Boy Goes To Sleepaway camp

Well, he's off for 14 days of non-stop adventure at Jewish sleepaway camp.  He's going to Camp Ramah in upstate Wisconsin, about 6 and a half hours north of here. We just dropped him off at the bus in Skokie, and the adventure has begun (for all of us!)

When I was a kid I went to a Jewish sleepaway camp as well, Camp Avoda, and had a great time.  I think I went right around his age-- and the first time my brother and I went for a month, and then after that I went for 2 months for a couple of more years before I wanted to go to basketball camp with my friends, and so didn't go to the Jewish camp anymore.  (Wow, just looked at the prices for Camp Avoda, and they are about1.3 times what we are paying for Ramah.  And I blanched when I saw OUR prices.  Don't let anyone fool you--Camp is expensive!)

Avoda is an all boys camp, and Ramah is mixed gender camp.  Wonder if that plays into the pricing?  Or just midwest vs. east coast kind of thing?


Here's the promo for Camp Ramah.

At Camp Avoda, kids pray in an outdoor chapel.  

This camp is far more religious than we are, and I think praying before and after every meal, eating kosher, discussing holiness, celebrating Shabbat, and learning about Judaism will be good for him.  I know it was for me.  It's where I learned a lot of the Jewish prayers (you sing them before and after every meal) and also got a sense of Jewish identity.  And really, it's where I started grappling with some philosophical issues as well about meaning and purpose.  And it was the first time I had hung out with a bunch of kids just like me.

While I am all about diversity and knowing about other cultures and ideas, I also think that knowing who you are and where you come from are important.  And bonding with kids just like you (especially when you are in a decided minority in your school) is also important.  When I grew up, I think I was one of only a handful of Jewish kids in my school- and even in high school- out of a class of 500, I doubt more than 10 of us were Jewish.  My son's elementary school has numbers that might be a little higher, but not much.

As I recall, I learned a lot more than just the prayers in sleepaway camp, including the joys of volleyball (newcome, the first year, where you got to catch the ball instead of hit it); tetherball, tennis, and what leeches were (we were on a freshwater lake in MA, and if you went swimming too far, you'd end up covered in leeches!)  And gimp bracelets, color war, and handmade wallets, and bug juice, and the joy of catching a frog for the first time (I was a sheltered city kid!) I also went to one of my first plays on a field trip there, and I think I acted in a play as well.  It's a time for growing up - a "Growth experience"  and I am so looking forward to finding out how it went for him!

My son (2nd from left) and his two friends and the bus director.
Getting ready to go on a giant camp adventure!

We packed and packed and packed and labeled every piece of clothing he owns (and several that he doesn't) and bought batteries for the flashlight and batteries for the other thing and batteries for the batteries.  His stuff fit into two large duffel bags. I also packed an old ipod (music players are allowed, but not ones with screens or connectivity) and some audio books and some regular books.  He will not be hurting for things to do this summer!

The bigger question is:  what are my wife and I going to do with our free time?  (Other than fret about the boy?) This is sort of an empty nest preview, and I'm not sure what we are going to do.  Go on dates?  Sleep in?  Have sex all day?  (Let's not go crazy!)

My guess is not much will change, and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or just sad.

 It's a little concerning-- I no longer have a ready-made excuse about why I was less than productive today!

What about you?  What happened when your kids went to camp?  Funny war stories encouraged in the comments below.

More Religious Dischord: L'Shana Tovah, Everybody.

Image of the Torah, the ancient Jewish scroll, from
Wikimedia Commons.

Back in April, I wrote a kind of personal blog post about my feelings towards religion.

http://www.dadapalooza.com/2017/04/passover-has-passed-me-over.html

In that blog post I talked about the fact that I have conflicting desires in terms of religion.  On one hand, as a parent, I want my son to be knowledgeable about religion, to find spirituality, to find a purpose in the world, a place in the world, and religion is supposed to be the thing that helps you do that.  I also want him to be connected to Judaism, and the struggle of our ancestors, handed down over 5000 years to live in God's good graces.

On the other hand, I personally haven't been able to get any of those things from organized religion.  I don't really believe, and I find it an imposition and a lie to go and do stuff I don't believe in.  I feel like I am trying to please my dead mother, who in turn was trying to please her dead mother.  I want to get off the dead-mother-pleasing train.

Well, it's now the High Holy Days (where four big religious holidays happen in quick succession- Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), Sukkot (the Harvest Festival) and Simchat Torah, a celebration of the Torah.   (And the fact that I know this is proof of my Jewish education)

"Two paths diverged in a wood."  Of course, there are always more than two paths. Photo from Wikimedia

Meanwhile, over in Adam's emotionland, nothing has resolved itself, and I am back at square one of feeling like a liar and a failure as a religious parent.

I have a fair amount of internal turmoil about this, and it has become external as well.  My disdain for synagogue earned me a fairly angry tongue lashing from my wife who essentially told me "suck it up cupcake. "  "He takes his cues from you, and if you are disdainful, then so will he be."  (She didn't exactly say that, but close enough.)

I can't deny that it isn't true, but at the same time, I'm in a moral quandary.  Fake it til you make it means me rotely going to synagogue and practicing Judaism that I don't feel so that my son can be force fed information and a worldview that is both his heritage and something I don't wholeheartedly embrace on the off chance that it is his worldview. And he'd be going to please me and his mom, something I don't see as a good parenting tactic.

On the other hand, like it or not, it is our heritage, and he needs to know something about it, and maybe if I struggle with it, then he will think about it.  And what's more Jewish than anguishing over moral quandaries for days?  The Talmud, which is a centuries old interpretation of the Torah, says, "If there are two Jews, there are three opinions."  (Well, I'm not sure if it actually says that, but it ought to.)

The Talmud.  It's all in Hebrew, if you want some English, check out Amazon's The Essential Talmud

At any rate-- my son's Hebrew school has an open house this week, and we are going, whether he likes it or not.  It's about as non-religious as one can get (It's the Workman's Circle school, which is kind of secular Judaism. ) Meanwhile, I'm reluctantly going to synagogue, because I don't want to shut that door.

Got any thoughts or wisdom to lay down on me?  Would love to hear it.

Wishing you all a happy Jewish New Year, an easy fast,  or just a happy day if you are a believer not so much.

Passover has passed me over

NOTE: This post is going to get a little more personal than I normally get, so feel free to skip if you choose to.  I know that some of my readers are primarily about the cultural stuff I write about, or maybe the parenting tips, or who knows, even the sponsored stuff I occasionally do.  But this is for the ones who might be interested in the personal.

This one is about my relationship with my religion.

 I've got a hard relationship with Judaism.

On one hand I feel very Jewish- my identity is very much as a Jew, at least culturally.  I had a Bar Mitzvah, I went to Israel, I can read Hebrew (although my understanding is limited) I went to Hebrew High School (The Harry Elkin Midrasha), and even taught there for two years.  I know the blessings by heart, or mostly, I have Passover Seders in my house, we occasionally have Shabbat, and I can "Oy vey" and "Nu, so..." with the best of them. I married a Jewish woman, and we stepped on the glass. I cry at Fiddler on the Roof.  I'm also a big fan of Bagels and Lox, brisket, and knishes. Kashe not so much.  And guilt?  Do I know about guilt! Well, that's part of the reason for this blog post.

 I want my son to know Judaism.  I want him to have a Bar Mitzvah, and know the blessings over wine, and bread, and matzah.  I want him to know what a lulav and an etrog are, to know the sounds of the Shofar being blown, I want that to be part of his identity, for him to feel connected to this group of people who have struggled over great adversity and managed to survive for thousands of years.  He is part of that struggle, as I am, and as my parents were before me, and their parents before them.

On the other hand, I am not a practicing Jew. I don't fast on Yom Kippur, don't eat matzah at Passover, don't regularly stop working on Shabbat, or even light the candles.  I eat pork and shellfish with abandon.  I'm not a member of a synagogue, I don't go to synagogue with any kind of regularity (and when I do go, I kind of resent it)  I have a great doubt that any of those things will help me in an afterlife I don't think I believe in and haven't gotten much spiritual comfort from.

I don't think I'd go so far as to say I'm an atheist, I believe there is some Creator, but not one that I have a "personal relationship" with or cares whether or not I work on Shabbat, or eat cheeseburgers. And while I feel a part of the grander scheme of Judaism, I have never felt a part of an individual community of Judaism.  Maybe for about 10 minutes, but certainly not on a sustained level.

The most spiritually moved I've felt has been at the theatre, and occasionally while sitting on a rock jetty with my back to the shore, watching the waves roll in.  (Oh my god, my spiritualism is a tampon commercial!)

When my parents were alive, I went to synagogue, and fasted at Yom Kippur, and didn't eat bread during Passover, and all those other things. I didn't keep kosher, but neither did my parents.  But I kind of felt that I was doing it for my mom, and not for me, and when she passed away, I decided to stop.  Since then, I have become increasingly more ornery about practicing Judaism.

When my wife and I lived in NY, we were part of a synagogue, but I never felt very close to that community.  Perhaps because it was my wife's community, perhaps because soon after I started going there was a great deal of flux due to the spiritual leader leaving, perhaps because my wife got involved in the behind-the-scenes of synagogue politics, and I saw the worst of it.

In the Passover Haggadah there is a parable about the four sons, the wise, the wicked, the simple, and the one who doesn't know enough to ask.  Each has a question about what is going on, and you are supposed to answer each differently.

When I was younger, I always cast myself as the wise son, the one who includes himself, and asks the question "What did God command us to do?"   but now I'm pretty sure I'm the wicked son, the one who holds himself apart from the group, and asks the question, "What did God command YOU to do?"

(a kind of funny film demonstrates this parable below)

So I'm in a quandary-- I feel like I'm Jewish, but don't really believe in (or do) all of the stuff that makes one Jewish.  And I want my son to be Jewish, or at least know about Judaism.  But I'm setting him a bad example, at least as a Jew.  

I'm sure I'm not alone.

I feel like I have two choices--

1) fake it 'til I make it.  Set a better example as a Jew, even though I am not getting much out of it. That might mean more synagogue time for me, more fasting, more "Religion for the sake of religion" instead of for the sake of me.

2) Don't fake it. Explain as best I can why I want him to be involved and knowledgeable, and when the inevitable charges of hypocrisy come, parry them by letting him know that when he's18, he can make his own decisions.

Is there a third option?  Or a fourth option? For those of you who are religious doubters, what are you doing to help give your child/children a basis in religion?

BOOK REPORT: The Carp In the BathTub

We've been subscribing to PJ Library for the last seven years. It's a great service that sends free Jewish books to families every month.  Every month, like a clock, we receive a Jewish book (and once a year a Jewish CD) in the mail.  It's free to sign up. Families with kids ages 6 months through 8 years old with Judaism as part of their lives, are welcome to sign up. PJ Library welcomes all Jewish families, whatever your background, knowledge, or family make-up, or observance may be.

Kids enjoying Jewish books.  Photo via PJ Library Facebook

 A program of the Harold Grinspoon Foundation and local Jewish councils, it's a way to get Jewish content in front of kids, and to help kids build a Jewish identity.  For some kids its reinforcement of Judaism.  For other kids it might be the only Jewish thing in their life.  For the vast majority (and us) there's an in between.  This is not the only Jewish content he gets, but he gets less than is probably ideal.  Any way you slice it, I'm always glad to see that book in the mail.

I would say that my son likes about a third of the books that come our way, and I like about half. I read all of the books that come our way, and since he started reading on his own, he probably reads half.  If it were up to him, he'd probably read 1/4.  Part of the problem is that the books they select mostly are picture books, or at least heavy on illustration, and he prefers chapter books and larger books. Basically, since he became a realreader, he doesn't like to read books with pictures.

[GOOD NEWS:  In doing research for this article, I discovered that PJ Library is starting a pre-teen component for kids 9-11, where kids select their own books!  http://www.pjourway.org]

The books they send that I don't like are usually screaming too loudly "I'm a Jewish book.  I'm educational.  Read me, and be filled with Judaism!"  The books I like stand on their own and happen to be about Jewish topics, or present Judaism as a natural part of everyday life, not as something Special with a capital S.

One book that we both agree was great recently came in.  The book is called The Carp In The BathTub by Barb Cohen.
Originally published in 1972, it's a story of a two children living in a tenement apartment building in NY who befriend the fish their mom has purchased to make Gefilte fish for Passover.  The carp needs cleaning, before eating, so the mom is letting it rest in the bathtub for a few days before it meets its grisly doom.  The kids, try to rescue the fish, but it doesn't work out so well for them.

This is the 45th anniversary of this book, and the story has aged pretty well. I'm warning you now, this book has a sad ending for the fish.  But it has a warm and pretty lovely story about community, about family food traditions, about what it was like to live in a tenement, and yes, about Passover.

Our love of this book was made stronger by the song There's "A Carp In The Tub" by Robbie Schaefer. We've been listening to this song for some time, (it's a staple on Kid's Place Live) and seeing where it fit into our tradition/religion was pretty cool. I had actually assumed that the Carp in the Tub was a Chinese tradition that Schaeffer had appropriated,  (I'd read a story about it) so I'm really glad to know that it's part of my tradition as well.

If you like this song, consider buying it on Amazon.  The artist gets his royalty, we get a small cut of the proceeds, and you get a song you like!  Win! Win! Win!

EAR WORM: There's a Carp in the Tub- Robbie Schaefer

Robbie Schaefer is a DC based musician/songwriter. He's a former radio host of Kid's Place Live, and  currently the director of a non-profit called One Voice, which has as its goal to connect people through the power of music.

One Voice has done a bunch of different projects around the world, including the You Are Beautiful Project in 2014, which aimed to change people's self-images.

Here's the video for You Are Beautiful, which tells more about the project and is an ear worm in itself:
(but sadly, they spelled Campaign wrong on their Vimeo page)


You Are Beautiful 2014 Campiagn from OneVoice on Vimeo.

 One of Robbie's songs that I can't get out of my head has nothing to do with One Voice.  It's a song about a Carp who lives in a bath tub, which means that the occupants of the house can't take a bath.  This seems to happen every week, and by Friday the carp mysteriously disappears, and they can take a bath (but on Sunday they start all over again.)

One thing that I love about this song is that it never explicitly puts together that the carp in the tub is waiting to be eaten.  He talks about it needing to be clean, but the whole killing/eating process is done off camera-- just as it should be.

I am not sure of the genesis of this song.  I assume it comes from his childhood, but I almost can imagine that it's from some other kid's childhood,  I think I remember reading a kid's book about a Chinese immigrant growing up where they kept a fish in the bath tub. (Doing a search I found this one:  Yang The Youngest And His Terrible Ear which features a carp in a bath tub. I also found a Jewish classic:  The Carp In The BathTub.  I guess culture is culture and fish is fish the world over!

The song is compelling, as are most of the Robbie Schaeffer songs I've heard.

Listen to the songs on your own.  They are well worth it!

Click here to listen to a sample of the song via Amazon.

Robbie Schaefer's website:  currently under construction

Chocolate As A Religious Experience

NOTE: We received a candy basket from Hershey's as an inducement to write about chocolate. (As if we need an inducement!) All thoughts about chocolate, Hershey's, and Christian or Jewish Holidays are entirely our own.

We recently received an Easter basket from Hershey's.  My wife had met them last year at the Blissdom conference, and at that time they very graciously agreed to send us a basket full of candy. And this year we were on their list again!

They didn't have a Purim basket, but it's hard to say no to free chocolate.

As you may have guessed (if you didn't already know), we are Jewish. We are not very religious, and don't keep kosher, but we're quite proud of our heritage and we're Jewishly active in our own way, and one of those ways is to celebrate the difference between us and the other prevalent religions and cultures. (I'm not sure if this is centered in Jewish philosophy or if this is my own idea, but I have a memory of talking with a rabbi about how Judaism in general celebrates by being different. What has made Judaism continue onward is that we make ourselves different - through circumcision, through putting on t'fillin, wearing yarmulkes, through eating different foods, through prayer, etc. We Jews bond together in our difference, and as such are able to continue through lots of adversity.  )

Hoo boy, I didn't really mean for this to turn into a rant on religion.

Anyway, an interesting thing about Judaism is that a lot of our religious activities center around food.  We eat latkes (potato pancakes) and chocolate gelt (little chocolate coins) at Chanukkah. We eat matzah, even chocolate matzah, at Passover. During Purim it's the triangle shaped Hamentaschen pastries with either poppyseed or raspberry or chocolate inside. (Hmmm... do I detect a trend?)

We don't observe Easter, or St. Patrick's Day, or Christmas, or any of a number of other holidays that 90% of the American population does celebrate. But we do eat chocolate, which makes Easter one of our favorite secular holidays to celebrate! (And in that, I celebrate the unity of two fine religions!)

Our "Holiday" basket from Hershey's contained Twizzlers, Reese's Mini Reester Bunnies, Cadbury Creme mini eggs (these were very cleverly packaged in a 12-pack mini egg carton), Hershey's pink and green chocolate Kisses, and candy-coated chocolate Cadbury Mini Eggs.  If we were hosting an egg hunt, this would be great stuff to create a maze with. (Wait, it's not a maze, is it?  It's more like a chocolate puzzle, or maybe a trail of eggs, or...you know, I really don't know what the tradition is. I know that there are chocolate eggs and there is hiding involved. But other than that, I'm a little fuzzy on the actual details of egg hunts.)


Anyway, we're not going to do that. So the question is, what are we going to do with all of this sweet candy?

I have a few ideas....