My son gave me a very nice Father's Day Card. It's a nesting card, with 5 different panels, that are supposed to be all about me. Clearly done at school, but fun. A few days ago he was asking me about my favorite movie, my favorite color, and my favorite foods, so I kind of thought this might be where this was heading.
Still it paints a strange picture of me as a bird-hating, bird killing Diet coke drinking clown/fiend of indeterminate weight who desires a moped, eats pizza all the time, has high brow taste in movies, wants to win the lottery, and lets his son speedskate and go to camp.
Except for the bird-killing part, he's kind of got me down!
I decided to do this now for my dad, for when I was 8. (that would be Father's Day 1972, which happens to be the first "Official Father's Day" in April of that year when Nixon signed Public Law 92-278 in April. ) The day was Sunday June 18, 1972, just like this year!
Here's mine about my dad at that time: (along with my son's answers for reference)
ALL ABOUT:
NAME: Alan
AGE: 34 (He turned 35 Aug 1, 1972)
EYES: HAZEL
HAIR: BALD
HEIGHT: 6'1"
FAVORITES:
FOOD: Chinese food
DRINK: Gingerale
MOVIE: The Sting
SPORTS: Watching Baseball
CHORE: Going to work
DREAM BIG:
I know you want to travel and play bridge. I know you want to go to Disneyworld. I know you want me to work with my head and not my hands. I know you want me to mow the lawn.
NO THANKS:
I know you don't like insects. I know you want to have a dog. I know you don't want to mow the lawn. I know you don't like to argue with Mom.
PORTRAIT:
5 REASONS WHY I LOVE YOU:
1. You are really smart and good at math.
2. You play games with me.
3. You like to tell funny jokes
4. You share your candy with me.
5. You are very generous to other people.
Since I've become a dad, I've sought camaraderie within a number of organizations and groups that cater to dads.
I also belong to a number of mom communities, and general parenting communities as well, but the dad ones speak a little more to me, have helped me find my Tribe of Dads
Here's a list of just some of the Dad Communities I belong to:
City Dads Group http://www.citydadsgroup.com
When I was a newbie father, I discovered a cool meetup group that had started a few months before I became a dad-- the NYC Dads Group. Founded by Lance Somerfeld (and then quickly joined by his partner Matt Schneider) the NYC Dads Group went from about 100 dads when I joined to a 22 city network of dads that number in the thousands.
When I lived in NY I was very involved in the organization (I was one of the first co-hosts of its podcast The Modern Dads Podcast, and I still occasionally contribute) I was the cultural coordinator, so organized a few meetups, and as well I was a pretty frequent contributor to their blog.
Since I've moved to Chicago, I've become involved in the local chapter Chicago Dad's Group, and write for their blog (local and national) and also do some cultural coordination. Of course, my son is older now, and my need for hooking up with other dads has lessened a little bit. It's still a great organization, and I think an essential group to belong to if you are an involved dad or a primary caregiver, especially a newbie. Although it's organized online, the heart of the group is face to face meetups.
I've attended every one of these blogging conferences so far. Founded by Doug French and John Pacini, it's an annual conference where influencer dads (bloggers, youtubers, snapchatters, periscopers, tweeters, facebookers, and instagrammista's) meet corporate brands and have conversations about influence, about policy and culture, and about working together. I'm a tiny fish in this pretty large pond (but still a pond compared to the Ocean that is Mom blogging conferences, including its sister conference http://www.mom2summit.com, which I've also attended.) I love going every year because I love the dads that go, and some of the guys I've met at this conference have turned into relatively close chums (considering they live around the world) It's really a must-go conference for me. Life Of Dadhttp://www.lifeofdad.com
Life of Dad is a blogging platform and community. They offer a forum, a blogging platform, a podcast, a videocast On their site you can start a blog, start a conversation, watch a video, and meet hundreds of other parents. I've met most of the founders at Dad 2.0, and they are good guys. I've also recently started working with them as an influencer partner-- ie, they occasionally put me up for blogging or other influencer work. If you don't have a dad blog yet, I think it's a great starter place to check out and see if you like blogging. There are lots of helpful people on site, and the community is great.
Started by sadly now-deceased friend Oren Miller (Blogger Father), this group has grown to over 1000 guys all who have blogs. It's a closed group, meaning you have to be approved, and primarily to do that, go to the site, and send a message, with a link to your blog. The basic rules of the conference are to not be a dick, and for the most part, that works. There are share threads (threads where you can share your blog posts) and lots of helpful people. It can get a little raucous, and occasionally a little dick-jokey, but it's one of the best ways to meet a whole bunch of dad bloggers all at once. National At-Home Dad Networkhttp://athomedad.org/
This is a conference and advocacy group that helps connect at-home dads with each other, with best practices, education, support, and community. It has an annual conference every year (but sadly I've never gone-- it always conflicts with something-- in the past it was the Jewish holidays-- this year it's my hard fought tickets to Hamilton.) I know a lot of the organizers, and they are smart, compassionate, and very eager to help. If you are an At-Home Dad, I can highly recommend this group.
These are great resources to start with if you are a dad looking for your tribe.
Please list links to your community(ies) in the comments!
Oh sure, I was capable of being a father (and had some close calls regarding same) .
I knew lots of great dad jokes (still my reigning champion-- "What's brown and sticky? A Stick.")
I was great with kids (Hey, I am a professional clown)
But despite all that, somehow, someway I didn't feature being a dad. I didn't think it would happen for me, and I wasn't particularly sad about it. And if you talked to my friends and family, they probably would have had a hard time believing that I would be a dad too.
The chairman of the board likes to wear his food.
Part of it was that I hadn't met the right woman, part of it was that I was focused on the hardscrabble life of being a self-supporting artist. I was travelling all the time, and honestly, I didn't see how I could afford to have a kid either timewise of financially. I was really into living in the now, in the moment, and there never seemed to be a now when saddling myself with extra responsibilities seemed to be something that didn't seem wise.
About 12 years ago, I met my wife, and we immediately were hooked to one another. We ended up moving in together after about a year and a half of long distance dating. We bought a house together. She was on the fence about kids, and I was perfectly okay with that.
About a year or so after we moved in together, her biological clock started ticking. At first, I was a little resistant, but I loved my wife, and thought, "Well, let's try and see. If it's meant to be, it will be." (and other rhyming thoughts)
Also, the thought of breaking up with her over the kids issue was pretty scary to me.
Our family at the Mouse House.
She got pregnant almost right away (my boys can swim!) , and I was in the nervous/excited/elated/freaked out stage.
Sadly, that turned out to be a miscarriage, which brought a whole different level of freaked out/nervous feelings. (And to be completely honest, a little relieved as well)
We started trying again, and about 3 months later-- another pregnancy. Back on the nervous/excited/bandwagon.
About 10 days after we discovered we were pregnant, my mom passed away, which changed my whole perspective on time, kids, and family. I felt like it couldn't come soon enough.
That nine months of waiting for the baby to come was excruciating. For the first few months I was in denial, (we also planned our wedding and honeymoon, got featured in the NY Times for the same, and oversaw several home projects at the same time, including moving my office. You know, the little stuff)
Once I got out of denial I was in the full panic mode.
I felt woefully unprepared. I started reading all kinds of books, which is the way I prepare for things, and then I felt even MORE unprepared. Go figure.
I had a lot of fears that I wouldn't love the baby, that I would resent him for ending my career as a touring clown, I was afraid I would be grossed out by having to change him all the time. (As it turns out, it wasn't so bad. Because, you know, shit happens. And also, thanks to products produced by the sponsor of this post Pampers, it wasn't as terrible or as smelly as my fears made it out to be. Thank you Pampers! Your products work!)
Here's our world famous song, my contribution to the world of songs about children going to the bathroom!
As soon as my son was born, I'm happy to say that all my fears WERE UNREALIZED. I loved the little guy to pieces, and have loved watching him grow, and progress, and learn, and become a person. Yes, I do sometimes miss my former life as a responsible to no one performing artist, but I wouldn't trade positions. I love my life as a dad, in a way that I didn't know that I would.
My son and I making faces. I am teaching him how,
and he's teaching me!
In fact, if you had asked me 10 years ago if I would be happier having a baby, having more responsibility, having less "freedom", I would have looked at you like you were crazy. Counter-intuitively, I added responsibility and I have never been happier.
I don't think that it was as simple as him being born that changed me into being Dad material. It was the process. It was changing all those stinky diapers and staying up with him when he was sick and watching him sleep and bringing him to his first playdate and holding him when he has a temperature. It was that process-- that slow laborious process-- that has turned me into a dad.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
DISCLOSURE: I have partnered with Life of Dad and Pampers for this promotion. All the thoughts, ideas, photos, and stories remain truly mine.
When a baby is born, a dad is born. This Father’s Day, Pampers is encouraging dads to give thanks to their kids for making them feel special, and to recognize how babies (and children) help the dad to grow along the journey of fatherhood.
Please join them by tweeting or instagramming how your baby changed your life with the hashtag #ThanksBaby.
Pampers has also released a new #ThanksBaby video that captures the relationship between dad and child that starts at birth and when the journey of fatherhood begins.
My son gave me a very nice Father's Day Card. It's a nesting card, with 5 different panels, that are supposed to be all about me. Clearly done at school, but fun. A few days ago he was asking me about my favorite movie, my favorite color, and my favorite foods, so I kind of thought this might be where this was heading.
ALL ABOUT:
FAVORITES:
DREAM BIG: 
NO THANKS:
5 REASONS WHY I LOVE YOU:
