Dave Hollis New Book: Get Out of Your Own Way

The book is released today.
Buy on Amazon.

Dave Hollis, husband of self-help guru Rachel Hollis, has written a new book that is being released today.

I've pre-ordered the book, listened to the first 30 minutes, and actually seen Rachel live when she came to Chicago as part of a business expo.

I listen to their three (!) podcasts on the semi-regular.

START TODAY MORNING SHOW (which is, as the jingle says, "The Morning Show That No One Is Talking About.")

RISE PODCAST(which was Rachel Hollis's original podcast, and focuses on organizing and living your best life.)

RISE TOGETHER (which is a couples podcast, about how to have an exceptional relationship and live your best life)


I'm a big fan of both of the Hollises (Hollux?), but probably I'm in the minority in that I prefer Dave to Rachel.

Right now you are either saying "Who Are These People?"  or are saying, "Really?  But you're not a woman!"

Here's a little about them and what I find inspiring.

THE HOLLIS CO. BACKSTORY

Rachel Hollis was an entrepreneur in LA, who among other things, created high-end events like weddings and bat mitzvahs.    Dave, meanwhile, was working his way up at the Walt Disney Company, playing a number of roles over a 17 year period until he ended up as the President of Worldwide Distribution for their motion picture division.  Over time, Rachel's business started to transform into work as an influencer and as an entrepreneur and as an author and speaker.  She has had a clothesline on QVC, a set of journals and other organizational books, and has written two best-selling self-help books:  Girl Wash Your Face, and Girl, Stop Apologizing.  She has also been in demand as a speaker, and as a motivational coach.  Her business really started taking off about three years ago.

               

Click the photo to see it on Amazon

Click the photo to see it on Amazon.

In 2018, Dave quit his job at Disney, and moved to Austin Texas to become the CEO of The Hollis Company, his wife's company.  In various podcasts, he has talked about this transition, and how people thought he was crazy to give up his cushy job at Disney to go work for his wife.  But he really felt like he wasn't growing at Disney, and he needed a challenge and to make a change.  His wife's business was starting to take off (and in the last year, they went from 4 employees to over 60 employees!)  You can read about his departure from Disney here.

The Hollis Family.  Photo courtesy of USA Today.

They have four kids of various ages, including a 2-year-old named Noah who they adopted from their work as foster parents.  Noah is incredibly cute and is the star of a number of their podcasts or video episodes, including Tea-Time with Noah, a short Youtube video series in which  Dave teaches Noah life lessons starting quite early.




One of the episodes of Tea Time With Noah

 WHY I LIKE DAVE BETTER THAN RACHEL

First, let me say, I like them both.  (Pam, don't send me any emails!)

 Both of them have a very direct style of speaking that appeals to me.  Rachel is a literal phenomenon that has millions of rabid followers.  She is super motivating and has a gift of seeming authentic.  (I think she is often authentic, but even when she's not, she manages to seem authentic.  She often talks about peeing her pants on stage and admits to embarrassing foibles, and those are in her stock and trade.) Over the New Year, she released a set of organizational journals only at Target, and those completely sold out, causing a run on them and speculative sales on eBay.

Buy Get Out Of Your Own Way by Dave Hollis on Amazon

But for whatever reason, Dave appeals to me more than Rachel. Here are my thoughts about why:

• INTRODUCTION. Unlike most people, I listened to Dave Hollis before Rachel and had no idea who she was.  As a result, I think I am more interested in him.
• HUMOR. I like his direct and slightly wry sense of humor.  Rachel can be a little too endearing for me.  Dave manages to be both funny and earnest.
• SKEPTICAL  Dave is a skeptic and was not originally really on board for his wife's journey.  I like how he initially resisted and then embraced his own journey.  He's made a remarkable journey of transformation, including becoming a marathoner, giving up drinking, and in general showing up for his family.
  This is familiar to me, as my wife is on a journey of transformation that I am skeptical of.  I'm hoping that I can follow in his footsteps and make my own similar journey.
• FAMILY.  I love Dave's commitment to his family and the way he parents.  I also admire (and perhaps envy) his seemingly strong relationship and partnership with his wife.  I aspire to have that same kind of commitment/partnership/support in my life.
• INSPIRATIONAL ENTHUSIASM.  Both of the Hollis's have a direct and inspirational fervor about them, but Dave's somehow speaks to me more.
  
  Once again, both Rachel and Dave are inspirational to me, but I resonate more with Dave.

A TRANSCRIPT OF DAVE'S MOTIVATIONAL STYLE

I happen to be listening to an older START TODAY show in the gym yesterday, and Dave said about ten things that resonated with me.  Here he's talking about his book and how he had to make time to write every day.  (This is about minute 22.5)

(I apologize if there are any transcription errors)

Another thing I learned - writing a book requires every single day commitment to finishing the book. Everyday you have to get a word count in.

I was going every day for five hundred to a thousand words every single day. It didn't matter what day it was -every day. Once I started I had to do it and what I want to say here- the life lesson for whatever you're trying to pursue, if you want to do the hardest thing that's going to have maximum Impact—You have to commit to doing it every day. 

The reason why we're so cuckoo about our morning routine and doing our gratitude practice and unintentional goal-setting. We do it everyday.

Everyday.
Every.... Day.
Because priming yourself to have the kind of day that you want to have is the way that you have the kind of day that you want to have and forcing myself into a habit.

It had me writing everyday and had me not questioning if I was going to get back at it tomorrow. 

Even Saturdays and Sundays? Even Saturdays and Sundays.

Even on holidays? Even on holidays.

Even when you're on vacation? Even when you're on vacation.

If you want to have a life that looks a certain way, you need to find a way to engineer that life with the habits and routines that you know will help you get where you want to go.
I have to do it every day.
And the great thing was I walked into it not loving the idea of doing it everyday, but I did it every day. I didn't necessarily feel like I was going to be able to do it every single day, but I did it every single day.

I walked in some days with confidence that I’ve got a great story to tell and I walked in other days not thinking I could actually put the words in the paper and- I did it every single day.

This is highly inspirational to me, this idea of doing something every day no matter what.   And it's something I need to do more in my life.   There were probably three other segments in THIS EPISODE ALONE that I found inspiring.  (He talks about the need for an editor, and the fear that people he sent the finished book to would criticize it, and all of those spoke to me directly)

 Rachel also talks about this stuff as well, but for some reason, I find Dave's fervor more inspiring. (And I think I am in the minority) It could be that I see myself more in him because he and I are guys.  But I think mostly his style just resonates with me more.

Anyway, you slice it, I'm excited that his book has come out, and I plan to read it cover to cover, and soak the inspiration out of it any way I can.

 Dave also offers an online coaching program, which I am NOT going to join.  (See my previous post about spending money on stuff like this.)

The Five Dimensions of Manhood

Larry Hagner, of the Dad's Edge Podcast.

At the recent Dad 2.0 Summit, I attended the podcast discussion where I listened to a number of interesting guys talk about their podcasts.  As part of that discussion, Larry Hagner, the driving force behind the Dad Edge podcast and the Good Dad Project, talked about what he called the Five Dimensions of Manhood.   (He was talking about what his content is about, and what he talks about, and he mentioned that all of his content falls into one of the following categories)

According to Hagner, there are 5 main dimensions of being a man (and I think that we could safely say for all people, although he focuses specifically on men)



Here are the Five Dimensions that Hagner outlined.

Hagner is also the author of the book
The Dad's Edge, available on Amazon.

1.  Health (including Physical, Spiritual, and Emotional)

2.  Work

3. Relationship with spouse/significant other

4. Relationship with children

5.  Finances


I was really intrigued by this cosmology, so I went back and listened to a couple of podcasts where he explains his idea more thoroughly.  (those podcasts linked below)

I listened to two or three podcasts with him on it, and for the most part, I like what he has to say.  He's well-spoken, thoughtful, and has great stories and insights.  In one of the podcasts, he says that everyone has a couple of core competencies in one of those five areas, but we all have deficiencies as well, and we need to be firing on all cylinders on all of them to be really happy.

I'm pretty sure these are NOT the Five Dimensions
that Hagner had in mind.
SHOP THE FIFTH DIMENSION ON AMAZON.

In another podcast, he talked about the fact that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with (outside our spouse and kids).  Another topic he talked about was how it's easy for a man to feel isolated and alone, to feel like he is spiraling out of control, and to take on all of the burdens of your family on your own, even though your partner might be ready to help.

[This is true for me for sure, even though my wife is the primary financial earner.  I still feel all of the financial pressure, as if it were my own.]

 All of what he said totally resonates with me.  However, I find that it is hard to separate what he is saying from the knowledge that he's selling an "answer" to your fears and ills, in the form of the Dad Edge Mastermind group, where for  $97 a month you get to become mastermind/accountability partners/friends with a group of other guys who will support you and help you and be your friend when the going gets rough.



I'm skeptical of the group part, and I am not planning on laying down any money to join an alliance of any kind.  Part of my skepticism is that I don't like being sold to, and part of it is I'm wary of group stuff like this.  I'm not much of a joiner, and when the answer seems to be "join our group for a fee"  I start to think about the money, and not wanting to be a sucker.  This could be either my superpower or my fatal flaw, depending on who you are talking to.

This is part of my problem.... I'm a Marxist!

Don't get me wrong, I've spent money on stuff before, and I know that the guys who have joined are grateful that they have.  He's had a few of them on the podcast episodes that i've listened to. 

While I can definitely imagine benefitting from being a member of the group,I can just as easily imagine myself having a terrible time with it.   And I'm not sure that I'm ready to take a risk like that to become part of the group.

If it were free, I'd probably try it, but it's not (and quite frankly, I can imagine that if it were free it would be terrible.  The guys you want in a group like this have to want to grow, and have to have some skin in the game.)


I guess what I'm saying is that even though I think I could benefit from something like this, I'm probably too much of a cheapskate to ever actually pay for something like this, for fear that I would be wasting my money.  This would fall under dimension number 5... Finances.  Which apparently I'm pretty screwed up about, and could benefit from being a member of a mastermind... (Whoa!! Catch-22!)

Are any of you guys members of a similar kind of mastermind (or even this one?)  Has it been helpful?  I'd love to hear your thoughts either here or via email.

And if you'd like to hear Hagner talk about his own ideas, you will very much enjoy what he has to say (and resonate with his honesty)

PODCASTS ABOUT THE FIVE DIMENSIONS  LARRY HAGNER

On The Dad's Edge Podcast
https://gooddadproject.com/dimensions-of-manhood/


On Alanis Pratt's Intimate Conversations Podcast:
http://intimateconversationspodcast.libsyn.com/larry-hagner-releasing-the-pain-of-the-past



On the Unbeatable Minds Podcast/Videocast
https://unbeatablemind.com/larry-hagner/

Some Podcast Recommendations For Your Consideration

I've been listening to more podcasts over the last few months, and I wanted to recommend a few to friends who are hoping to listen to some interesting things.  As always, your mileage may vary, and if you don't like these choices, feel free to stop listening and listen to something else.

What I like about podcasts is that they can very quickly (and without much attention) bring me into a world that I know nothing about, and it's easy enough to shut it out or ignore it if I need to.

I haven't included any dad/parenting podcasts, as I want to compile a few more into their own post.

NON-PARENTING PODCASTS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

Buy the Risk Book on Amazon

 
Risk Show is one of my must listens every week now.  Hosted by Kevin Allison, this podcast has been around for 10 years, but I am brand new to it.  It's both a live show and a podcast, where people tell true stories they never thought they'd dare to share.  As Kevin warns in the opening, the podcast can be very uncensored, and has its fair share of crazy sex stories (especially when it combines with the Bawdy Storytelling podcast, another live storytelling show turned podcast that I listen to with regularity.)   Both of these are NSFW, so don't listen to this with kids around.  The focus isn't only on sex though, and I've heard some amazing and poignant and hilarious stories about love, childhood, and just about everything else.

 They produce two episodes a week, a new show, and a classic Risk Singles, pulled from their archive of the last 10 years. They also have a book (available on Amazon) that collect some of their best stories and stories by celebrity guests).

 I am trying to figure out what story from my past I would be willing to share for the RISK show and would still be risky enough to be included.  For me that intersection is surprisingly small. But I want to be the kind of person/artist that is willing to take that kind of risk.  So I'm thinking about it!

By the way, the rest of these podcasts are Safe For Work, mostly.  (assuming you are allowed to listen to podcasts at work.)

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An Arm and a Leg Podcast 
Health care has been a nightmare of mine for a long time-- each year it goes up unpredictably, and I have a number of weird spreadsheets that try to figure it out.  In the last four years I've been with three different healthcare companies and two of them have gone bankrupt.  And in three of the four years, my analysis showed that it made more sense for my wife and I to be on separate plans.  (for the first time in a long time, we are going to be on the same plan this year).

Enter our friend Dan Weissman, who is a radio journalist who has worked for Marketplace and WBEZ, among many others.  He's created a new podcast to talk about the realities of the costs of healthcare, and it's fun, funny, sobering and terrifying all at once.  Some of the stories he tells are amazing (Renaissance faire workers who have banded together to help solve the problems of being an itinerant performer without regular health care, or the amazingly high costs of ordering medical supplies through insurance instead of buying them on the open marketplace.)  It's definitely worth a listen if you are affected by health care high prices, and that means anyone with a pulse.  (FULL DISCLOSURE:  I helped Dan think about some of the crowdfunding issues with his new venture. I have no financial interest in the podcast, other than if it goes well I won't have to buy the coffee when we go for coffee.)

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Cool Tools 
I was an avid reader of CoEvolution Quarterly/Whole Earth Review, I contributed a couple of reviews to the Whole Earth Catalog, and am still involved with the online service that was spawned from that movement The WELL, so it should be of little surprise to anyone that I would be a fan of Kevin Kelly's, who was also involved in all of those things (and far more than I) Kevin also was one of the founding editors of Wired Magazine.

The ethos of Whole Earth Review was "Access to Tools" and Kevin and Mark Frauenfelder (he of BoingBoing and the Maker movement) host a weekly roundup of tool recommendations from well known makers and artists and other interesting people.  The podcast is pretty formulaic, but I am almost always interested in one or more of the tools that people present.  Sometimes the tools aren't tools at all, but books, or apps, or ideas.  Each podcast is 30 minutes long, and I listen to it at 1.5 times the normal speed, which works out about right for getting all of the information and banter.

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Wow In the World
 is a great podcast designed for kids.

It stars Mindy Thomas, host of the venerable Sirius XM kids station Kids Place Live, and Guy Raz, an NPR radio everyman who hosts a number of podcasts, including the really great How I Built This (another good one to listen to) and the TED  Radio Hour, a compilation of great TED Talks.  Guy used to have a regular spot on Mindy's show on Kids Place Live, and they've extended it into a podcast that talks about science and cool stuff.
  What I love about this show is that Guy Raz, who typically fulfills the role of a journalist or question asker, ends up acting,   playing an uber-nerdish sendup of himself, and Mindy does her shtick as the kind of crazy lady next door.

They are a great team together, and they've got good comedy chemistry.  And at the end, kids call in to tell Guy and Mindy what their "Wow In The World is" When I listen to this with my son, we end up learning a couple of things as well as being very entertained.

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Harry Potter and the Sacred Text

This is one of the first podcasts I ever listened to, and I still listen to it, but not as religiously (pun intended) as I should.


In this podcast, two former Harvard Divinity School graduates read a chapter of Harry Potter and think about it as though it were the bible.  Basically, they are coming up with sermons and sermon thoughts based on Harry Potter- what in this chapter is a life-lesson?  They use various textual analysis tools from the world of religious thinking, as well as a number of other ideas to create great Harry Potter-esque sermons It's a great idea, and they execute it really well.

 I saw them record one of these live in Chicago, and it was fascinating to see and meet them for the first time.  The two hosts Vanessa Zoltan and Casper ter Kuile have a magical chemistry together, and do a great job of letting us into their private lives in an interesting way.  They are currently on book 5, and if you are interested in Harry Potter (and even if you aren't) it's well worth a listen. (and you can start at the beginning.)  There are also book clubs dedicated to the podcast.

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If you've got some podcasts I should be listening to, please let me know in the comments!

Dealing with Death

I recently contributed to the Modern Dads Podcast in an episode about loss and death.

The episode, entitled On Loss, has 5 dads (myself included) talking about the loss of a parent and how they explained it to their children.

It's a very moving episode about a hard topic, so be prepared with a couple of tissues when you listen to it. (My part comes about 6 minutes in, but listen to the whole thing.  It's only 18 minutes long, and it's wonderful.)  Other contributors include Lance Somerfeld (founder of CityDads) Whit Honea, Jason Greene, and Josh Kross, who originated the idea.

I've included the text of what I contributed below the podcast embed if you are interested in reading it.

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Dealing with Death by Adam Gertsacov

Me and my dad

My parents never knew my son.  My dad died when I was 22 in a car accident, and my mom died  22 years later, about 10 days after we found out we were pregnant (But before we told anyone) 

My son does have both (or rather all three) of his grandparents on my wife’s side, and up until he was about 4, his great grandparents on my wife's side were also intact.  So he knows about grandparents,

My mom Karel Gertsacov

I wanted him to know about my parents, so from the time he was small, I’ve been telling him stories about my dad and about my mom.  When we’ve visited Rhode Island, we’ve gone to their gravesites and laid stones on their graves (as is the Jewish custom).

 When he was four and a half, his great grandfather (Great Hank) passed away at the age of 98.  My son knew him, in the way that you know all your elderly relatives when you are a kid.  You say hello, you were polite, you hoped for a dollar.  

 We traveled from NY to the funeral, and although we weren’t sure, we decided to bring him to the funeral (and to the interment) with us.

My wife and I talked about it, and we decided we wouldn’t sugar coat death or make up weird stories about how Great Hank was on an extended vacation. We decided to talk to him about it, maybe not with all the gory details, but to answer any questions that he had, to let him participate in the process. We felt that not talking about it, or talking down to him about it, would do everybody involved, including him and the deceased person, a dis-service.

At the cemetery my son was sad but very matter of fact about it, and it didn’t seem to phase him too much.  Great Hank was here, and now he’s not.  He’s in the box in the ground.  Dad, you are sad.  Mom is crying. Can I give you a hug? Can I go  play now?

Great Hank

I thought that maybe he didn’t understand the permanence of death, but about 6 months later, we were in the car driving home from kindergarten, and he started asking me questions about my mom’s funeral, and if she was in a box too, like Great Hank.  And if one day I would be in a box, if he would be in a box.

I answered him straightforwardly, forthrightly, yes, everybody dies, I’m going to die, you are going to die, mom is going to die,  but it’s a long way away, and you can’t worry about it now.

He thought about it for a minute and then said, “Dad, when you are in a box I will come and visit you.” 

I nearly swerved off the road.

Joey The Cat

About 6 months after that our cat Joey died.  He didn’t go into a box, but he got made into ashes that we spread across the farm he was born on in Indiana.

There were tears and there was sadness but my son, now age five and a half, knew the score.

And still now, two years later, we talk about my mom, and about Great Hank, and about Joey the cat with the fondest of memories.

EAR WORM: Andrew & Polly's Odds and Ends

Andrew & Polly with ukelele & accordion

I've been admirers of Andrew & Polly's work for some time.  I hear them a lot on Kid's Place Live, and their work is kooky, fun, and original.  I just got a hold of their new album Odds & Ends, and it collects a lot of the songs that I've heard over the last year.

Andrew Barkan and Polly Hall are a married couple that live in Los Angeles, where they work and perform.  Andrew, originally from San Francisco, has been instrumental (yes, I meant that pun!) in all kinds of film music and scoring, working on the Smurfs movie, and has composed the scores for over 30 independent films.

Polly, originally from Arkansas, co-founded a music for interactive company in Brooklyn, holds an MA in Computer Music from Brown University, and is a former Suzuki violinist.  Together, they have written music for Nickolodeon, lots of commercials, and they won the  2012 ASCAP Foundation Joe Raposo Childrens' Music Award for their first album Up and At' Em!

There's a great interview with them on ZooGlobble,  where you can find out that among other things, they are parents of an 18 month old, that they met in college where they both sang for A Cappella groups, and that they lived in Providence in 2006 when I was doing Bright Night.  I would have totally hired them for the New Year's Eve Festival, if I had known about them then!

Zooglobble, by the way, is a great resource for all things Kindie music.  You should definitely be reading it!

Buy Odds & Ends on Amazon.

The album Odds & Ends is a collection of songs that they've written over the last 5 years.  I've heard a few of them over the last couple of years. for a few years on Kids Place Live.  They do really delightful cover versions of Ghostbusters, the Beatles song Here Comes The Sun, and the Dylan song Forever Young.

 But it's their original songs that are the real winners.  I especially liked their song Grapes, which has a Laurie Anderson meets kid's music kind of feel, with a lot of talking/story.  It's funny and quirky and weird, and most importantly it's catchy.  It caught my attention, anyway.

 Most of their original songs are like that.

 Here's the song Grapes on Youtube:

The album came out on Friday (although it apparently previewed in Los Angeles at a 1 year old's birthday party!) Awesome party favor!

Other than the album, their latest project together is a cool  podcast for kids called EarSnacks.  It's for kids, featuring kids, and has lots of interactive features, questions, and just some wacky stuff.  Their latest episode is about all kinds of Balls (get your mind out of the gutter!) They play sounds of different bouncing balls, talk about boogers, which leads to a discussion of atoms, planets, and just about everything else.  It's a fun hang out session with them.  They produce a new podcast once a month or so.  (And I believe it also airs on KPL.)

You can listen to their podcast for free on iTunes, Stitcher, SoundCloud or tunein.

Find out more about Andrew and Polly on their website:  http://andrewandpolly.com/