Showing posts with label self-improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-improvement. Show all posts

Sunday, March 2, 2025

My Busy weekend with Meetup in Barcelona

 I have been living in Barcelona for the past three years, and I have used the app Meetup sporadically to widen my network and make new connections.  I used to use it somewhat when I was in the States (during my dad blogger days, the NYC Dad Group was based on Meetup, and so was the Chicago Dads Group) 

 In Barcelona, I have done some language exchange groups, eaten dinner and lunch at various restaurants around the city, gone to a couple of online seminars, and even gone to a couple of concerts with a group of complete strangers.  This weekend happened to be one that had a whole lot of Meetup going on, so I decided it might be fun to record my weekend of Meetup as a blogpost (and give some shoutouts to these Meetups in case you want to join.)


All the Meetups I am mentioning are free to sign up for. You just need to register for a free Meetup account.  And if you do join up, let them know you found them through my blog.  I won’t get any financial benefit, but I would like the owners of the groups to know that I am giving back to the community.

While all of the Meetups  mentioned are free to attend, you are responsible for your own food and drink.  Typically every tab is settled separately.  And while in Spain there is no expectation to tip, an extra euro or two is always looked on kindly by the server.

All of these events are primarily in English, although there are plenty of Spanish speakers in attendance as well..


MEETUP #1:  BARCELONA CHILI LOVER’S CLUB   Friday Night

 I have been attending the Chili Lover’s Club for probably a little over a year.  This is my most frequently attended Meetup.  Every two to three weeks, usually on Friday, a group of approximately 30 people gather in a restaurant to eat spicy food and talk about nothing and everything in particular.  Catalan and Spanish food is not particularly spicy, but fortunately, Barcelona is full of ethnic restaurants and there’s plenty of opportunity to get your picante on.  In the past we have had cuisine from China, the Philippines, Mexico, Pakistan, India, Ethiopia, Japan, and Thailand.

This meetup was at a Vietnamese restaurant called Pho Viet (on IG at @pho_viet_barcelona ). It had the additional advantage of being in my neighborhood, just a couple of blocks walk away.  The food was delicious- I had a mango salad with shrimp and an order of Bo Luc Lac (which is a marinated beef dish) Both dishes were great and suitably spicy.  The organizers also encourage people to bring their own spice condiments just in case things are not hot enough for your taste.  The people are very welcoming, and I have made some pretty good friends/acquaintances over the nearly 20 times I have attended. 


There are a few hundred people in the group, and only 30 spots or less per dinner, so they usually sell out.  If you join the meetup group, they will invite you to the WhatsApp group, which is where most of the action happens.  Once a dinner is announced, you should jump on it.

THE DAY OF DISCUSSING DEEPLY

MEETUP #2:  DEEP TALK COFFEE. Saturday 12 noon.

The second meetup was at the cafe of a bookshop close to the Urquinona train stop.  It was my first time at this particular meetup, although I have been eying it for a month or so.  It happens pretty much every Saturday, barring special private events or weather.  The point of this group is to discuss deep and complex issues with a group of people who might have different views than you. The conversations did not disappoint.  Our conversation was far ranging, reaching from the question of wanting to be a dictator on an island and what that would mean, to how democracy isn’t really working, and wondering whether there will be a Revolution like the French Revolution again, in an age where there is social mobility through wealth and the poor have a small opportunity to become rich.  Along the way (and after the fact) we also discussed if it was possible for a company to do well by doing good, block chain democracy (my weird idea of a disruptive event), what the most important part of a relationship is, and whether or not self Love or self Hate are more efficacious in getting productive results.  All this in less than 2 hours. 

There were probably around 25 people at the event (even though only 15 are allowed to sign up) and we split up into 3 or 4 tables  of people and each conversation was free ranging and went where they went.  At my table of 6 there were people from Lebanon, France, Romania, England, Spain (and later) Lithuania and me (US).  It was great hearing different viewpoints and often the same viewpoint but from a different perspective.  I enjoyed it a lot.  And have total respect for those participants who didn’t speak English as a native language.  I definitely could not have the discussion we had (or follow it) in Spanish.

From there I biked over to Parque Citadella to attend a Book club, also for the first time. The focus of the book club is on Physical and spiritual well being.

MEETUP #3: BARCELONA BOOK CLUB  Saturday 3 pm.

This book club is unlike most other book clubs in that you don’t have to have read a book in advance.  Participants are encouraged to bring a book that they have found useful for their personal development, and after an organized introduction period, people put their books on the table, and the group organizer asks people to give a little book review of the book, and what was important about it to them.  From there there is a group discussion about some of the concepts or ideas presented.  We were able to go over 4 books (and one was the one that I brought)

The books discussed were the following:

(The links to the books are Amazon affiliate links. If you buy them from this link I get a small commission)

El síndrome de la impostora by Elisabeth Cadoche and Anne de Montarlot, a book about why women suffer from Impostor syndrome differently than men.  This book does not seem to be available in English, but there are plenty of other books about Impostor Syndrome in English if you like.




The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, learning to break through your creative resistances to do what you aim to do and move beyond your comfort level.



Seven Steps to Developing Your Intuitive Powers by Betty Bethards, a manual on learning to trust your “gut” (which led to a pretty interesting discussion about your gut biome and whether or not we are being controlled by 2 trillion tiny microorganisms against our will)



The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, a practical guide to positive relationships.


This was a lot of fun, and the people were pretty interesting.  Apparently the meetup has been going on for more than a couple of years, and meets every two weeks (but most of the time it is at noon, which conflicts with the first one. I just happened to luck out that it was at a time where I could go to both (and right near a train station that was easy access to my next event). 

Normally the group meets outdoors in the park, but when it’s cold or rainy they meet indoors.  We met at a hotel coffee shop, and we had a little scare in the middle, where one of the participants realized that. Her backpack was missing.  We had just seen two people standing near her, and realized they had left. One of the guys ran out and caught the people with the backpack, was able to get the backpack back before something had been taken out of it.  The thieves were like “Oh is this yours? We just found it and were wondering whose it was”. A sharp reminder that in Barcelona you need to be very mindful of your possessions.

NON MEETUP EVENT: Circus de Los Horrores

From there I went to a non meetup event El Circus de Los Horrores. 

 It was the very last show at their tent in an outlying neighborhood of Barcelona called La Maccinista.  

I had seen a previous show of theirs in Madrid called Baccanal. This show, called Requiem was pretty great, an adult oriented circus complete with lots of sexual references, devil references, and rock and roll heavy metal vibe..  I will write a separate post about that show (perhaps on my clown link blog, and will link it here if I do so). The interesting thing is that it turns out that this show was THE VERY LAST SHOW.  

I didn’t realize it until the very end, but the owner/major person behind the circus was retiring at the end of the show.  I was very glad that I got to go.  I had known about the show and was putting it off a little, and even thought maybe I should just go the next time they are in town. But it turns out there will be no next time. Nothing is ever guaranteed.

MEETUP #4: BARCELONA WRITE TOGETHER   Sunday 11 am

Artwork by AI of a group of people
Meeting up for coffee in Barcelona.

On Sunday I attended my last meetup of the weekend (unless I have a sudden desire to attend something tonight, but I have no plans to do so at the present time.). This is also set at a coffee shop a 10 minute walk from my apartment, so this is very convenient for me.

Basically people meet at a public cafe at around 11 to write, and at the end of the two hours, there is a little intro time, where you can introduce yourself, and tell people how your writing session went.  I have been going for about a month, and really enjoy the time to work on something on my list.  Even if I don’t have a productive session, it forces me to take time out of my schedule to sit and noodle, and brainstorm, and write it down. And that is good.

Today, I actually wrote this blog post!  Over 1500 words, more or less. I got all of the blogpost done, and before I posted it, I just had to add the photos, and the links. That took me another hour or so (lots of links and photos in this one)

  But overall, I feel pretty productive about that two hours spent.  I have also met some interesting people through this event.

So that was my weekend of Meetup!  I swear that I am not addicted to it (I can quit anytime I wish) but it is a great tool to expand your network, have interesting discussions, and have fun.  I highly recommend trying it out and seeing if it works for you.

Tuesday, July 19, 2022

Angus Nelson's Mid Year Gut Check: Don't Try


Angus can be found on the internet at http://www.angusnelson.com

 I have forgotten how inspiring and awesome Angus Nelson can be.

I've seen him talk a few times at Dad 2.0 and some other blogging conferences.  I've had a few one on one conversations with him, and had a great breakfast with him a few years ago when he was passing through Chicago.  He's thoughtful and inspiring and great and smart and (all that jazz)

This past year, he and his family rooted themselves up from Nashville where they were living and moved to Lisbon Portugal.  I don't know the whole story why, other than he wanted a change, he needed a change, and this was a change. I follow him on Instagram and facebook and all the other socials and  he's having the time of his life there.  

Having moved to Barcelona Spain with my family about 6 months before Angus and his family for many of the same reasons, I have been feeling more of a kinship with Angus than ever. 

 Apparently the Instagram algorithm realized this recently, and showed me a video that Angus did about a week ago about using the word try as a way of not really committing or owning your desires and your plans.  







This spoke to me on a number of levels.

 I am guilty as charged. I do this a lot. I do it to hedge my bets, to not disappoint my wife (Hey, I said I'd try to get that thing for you. I did try. I didn't promise. I said I'd try)



My dad was a "We'll see." guy. Dad can we go for ice cream? Dad can we go to Disneyworld? Dad, can I buy a comic book? My dad would say "We'll see" and that often meant no , but it didn't rule out No enough so it wasn't a definite no. It left open a possibility for me, it forestalled a potential disappointment or argument from the kids, it put off a potential conflict until a later date.

 I fear that I operate often with the same parameters-- sometimes a little unwittingly, but more because it makes sense to me-- the world is rife with possibility and who knows what will happen?

 I can see, however, thanks to Angus's no nonsense gut check, that it might be (no it is- let's not mealy mouth) that willingness to be indecisive that is holding me back.  I need to commit to more things.  I need to fail more.  I don't need to try.  I need to do.

Thanks for the reminder Angus!

You should totally follow Angus on instagram, where he's got some more great gut checks for you.  He's also got an inspiring podcast.

 I thought about compiling all of his gut checks here for you, but I decided that you can do that yourself.  I have faith in you.

Monday, March 9, 2020

The Five Dimensions of Manhood

Larry Hagner, of the Dad's Edge Podcast.
At the recent Dad 2.0 Summit, I attended the podcast discussion where I listened to a number of interesting guys talk about their podcasts.  As part of that discussion, Larry Hagner, the driving force behind the Dad Edge podcast and the Good Dad Project, talked about what he called the Five Dimensions of Manhood.   (He was talking about what his content is about, and what he talks about, and he mentioned that all of his content falls into one of the following categories)

According to Hagner, there are 5 main dimensions of being a man (and I think that we could safely say for all people, although he focuses specifically on men)



Here are the Five Dimensions that Hagner outlined.


Hagner is also the author of the book
The Dad's Edge, available on Amazon.
1.  Health (including Physical, Spiritual, and Emotional)

2.  Work

3. Relationship with spouse/significant other

4. Relationship with children

5.  Finances


I was really intrigued by this cosmology, so I went back and listened to a couple of podcasts where he explains his idea more thoroughly.  (those podcasts linked below)

I listened to two or three podcasts with him on it, and for the most part, I like what he has to say.  He's well-spoken, thoughtful, and has great stories and insights.  In one of the podcasts, he says that everyone has a couple of core competencies in one of those five areas, but we all have deficiencies as well, and we need to be firing on all cylinders on all of them to be really happy.


I'm pretty sure these are NOT the Five Dimensions
that Hagner had in mind.
SHOP THE FIFTH DIMENSION ON AMAZON.
In another podcast, he talked about the fact that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with (outside our spouse and kids).  Another topic he talked about was how it's easy for a man to feel isolated and alone, to feel like he is spiraling out of control, and to take on all of the burdens of your family on your own, even though your partner might be ready to help.

[This is true for me for sure, even though my wife is the primary financial earner.  I still feel all of the financial pressure, as if it were my own.]

 All of what he said totally resonates with me.  However, I find that it is hard to separate what he is saying from the knowledge that he's selling an "answer" to your fears and ills, in the form of the Dad Edge Mastermind group, where for  $97 a month you get to become mastermind/accountability partners/friends with a group of other guys who will support you and help you and be your friend when the going gets rough.



I'm skeptical of the group part, and I am not planning on laying down any money to join an alliance of any kind.  Part of my skepticism is that I don't like being sold to, and part of it is I'm wary of group stuff like this.  I'm not much of a joiner, and when the answer seems to be "join our group for a fee"  I start to think about the money, and not wanting to be a sucker.  This could be either my superpower or my fatal flaw, depending on who you are talking to.

This is part of my problem.... I'm a Marxist!

Don't get me wrong, I've spent money on stuff before, and I know that the guys who have joined are grateful that they have.  He's had a few of them on the podcast episodes that i've listened to. 

While I can definitely imagine benefitting from being a member of the group,I can just as easily imagine myself having a terrible time with it.   And I'm not sure that I'm ready to take a risk like that to become part of the group.

If it were free, I'd probably try it, but it's not (and quite frankly, I can imagine that if it were free it would be terrible.  The guys you want in a group like this have to want to grow, and have to have some skin in the game.)


I guess what I'm saying is that even though I think I could benefit from something like this, I'm probably too much of a cheapskate to ever actually pay for something like this, for fear that I would be wasting my money.  This would fall under dimension number 5... Finances.  Which apparently I'm pretty screwed up about, and could benefit from being a member of a mastermind... (Whoa!! Catch-22!)

Are any of you guys members of a similar kind of mastermind (or even this one?)  Has it been helpful?  I'd love to hear your thoughts either here or via email.

And if you'd like to hear Hagner talk about his own ideas, you will very much enjoy what he has to say (and resonate with his honesty)

PODCASTS ABOUT THE FIVE DIMENSIONS  LARRY HAGNER


On The Dad's Edge Podcast
https://gooddadproject.com/dimensions-of-manhood/


On Alanis Pratt's Intimate Conversations Podcast:
http://intimateconversationspodcast.libsyn.com/larry-hagner-releasing-the-pain-of-the-past



On the Unbeatable Minds Podcast/Videocast
https://unbeatablemind.com/larry-hagner/